El Presidente del Mundo profile picture

El Presidente del Mundo

Mission Accomplished!

About Me

I am what you call an autodidact: I have read Paris Hilton's biography in Swahili, play Chopin's nocturnes on the kalimba, and can spin a basketball on my middle finger while reciting all of Proust's "A la Recherche du Temps Perdu."

My Interests

Surrealism, Awaiting Dick Cheney's next coronary, Artificial Soy Products made of Beef and Pork (my new business venture, called "Faux Soy" -- "Oh Boy, it's Faux Soy!!@"

I'd like to meet:

Enron Hubbard, chairman of Die-a-Nuttics. And Tom KooKooRooz, his disciple.

Music:

Dean Martin, The Pogues, Sippie Wallace, Mahler, Willie Dixon; Ravi Shankar. Black Stripes, Sandler & Young, Bat Poone. Bob Hopeless, a new punk rock singer.

Movies:

The Mack, Shaft, Super Fly, La Dolce Vita, Simon of the Desert.

Television:

Test patterns. Ron Popeil Infomercials; Curb Your Enthusiasm. LinkTV (DONATE!);

Books:

Anything by O.J. Simpson or Dostoievski. Oh yes, and Jewel's poetry: she is a prettier Paul Verlaine, and a better shot.

Heroes:

Mortadella with swiss; Meatballs with provolone; Kosher ham and Halal Brisket. Oh, and Shecky Greene.