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I once went to a film premiere where I was carried down the red carpet – in front of me walked John Lennon and Yoko Ono.
I have been paid to kill, and I killed many times as a consequence.
I was once involved in a security operation that saw an individual carrying a firearm disarmed seconds before a high profile member of the Royal Family entered the room.
As a young lad, two friends and I started a bonfire in the car park of a high profile football club (currently positioned within the top two flights) so as to stunt-ride our push bikes through it – unfortunately after we left the fire got out of control and the fire brigade were called out. One of the two friends now owns the football club.
I have appeared on the front page of newspapers on two occasions for two different reasons – on the first occasion it was for being born.
Once a Commonwealth Games Silver Medallist threw her breakfast across my front room; there was egg everywhere – on the wall, on one of the speakers, on the settee, on the rug, Hell, it was even on one of the flags that hangs on the ceiling (it was Fiji's)
A former Member of Parliament, who is also a well known Olympic Gold Medallist and is now a Lord, once asked me to confirm that Chelsea had sold Vinnie Jones. During the conversation that followed my confirmation, His Lordship told me of what a bad decision he thought it was to let Vinnie go.
Although I never made an appearance for the first team, I spent two seasons on the books of a top-flight Australian Rules Football Team (during both seasons the team in question finished second on the ladder). Although I did make one appearance on the pitch at the same time as the first team – as a goal umpire during a pre-season friendly when it transpired that there were not enough officials present to umpire the game.
Ken Bates once waved a thank you to me - at the time I was wearing a form of body armour.
