Travisaurus rex?! profile picture

Travisaurus rex?!

I can assure you ladies, I am not a bot!

About Me

Nobody ever expects to be stepped on by a dinosaur.

I've jumped off countless roofs, been hit by a car, charged by a wild elephant, almost died in a snow storm on a mountain, gotten lost in a sand storm in the desert, been dangled off a bridge above raging rapids, jumped out a second-floor window, danced on the counter of The Roxy, engaged in high-speed car chases, had a python around my neck, wore a gas mask as the city I was in was being bombed, voted myself for presidency, gone clinically insane for a four month period, battled a 400-lb sumo wrestler with my bare freaking hands, and several other things the law will not permit I share here.

So yeah, not much of an interesting life.I've had so many things happen to me in such a short span of time that most things rarely seem to affect me anymore. I think this is bad. I guess the only cure is to have more kick-ass adventures!

Here is a list of things that suck about being me:

Nothing!

Now that we got that out of the way, let's talk about more important things. Like people totally wailing on each other. This should happen more often. Like every freaking day. With wicked guitar solos. Day in and day out, screaming guitars in your ear, even while you're trying to sleep. Some hair-metal dude playing a kick-ass riff as he stands above you in bed, rocking out. All. Night. Long. Meanwhile, everyone who isn't wailing on a guitar is too busy fragging each other with big guns to bother themselves with things like "sleeping". If I was king of the world, things would look a LOT more like Gears of War, and a lot less like Piñata Island.

In other news, I've started a dojo to teach people the art of head-butt-fu and so far I have a few promising students who are quickly mastering my techniques. After they have earned their black headband, I hope to include them in learning the ways of Stomping On Things With Your Feet.

My Interests

Adventures. Ameslan. Being Awesome. Bunnies. Caricatures. Cellos. Cheese. Chess. Cowboys. Dancing. Disco. DJ-ing. Drums. Explosions. Fighting. Film Making. Fire!. Geo-Caching. Graphic Novels. Headbutt-Fu. Infinity. Italian. Mondrian. Moshing. Multiple Realities. Nunchucks. Parkour. Penguins. Ping Pong. Pizza Sex. Quantum Physics. Quests. Religion. Rocking Out. Rooftop Climbing. Rugby. Samurai. Stilt-Walking. Sword-Chucks. Tacos. Tanks. Tap Dancing. Treasure Hunts. Unicycling. Vikings. Violins. Wykings Forever. Zines.

I'd like to meet:

Dragons probably. I wouldn't mind meeting a unicorn or two, if only to feed them to the dragons I meet cause they're so girly. Optimus Prime. Pretty much any and all hair metal bands ever so I can hook up that endless guitar solo thing. I'm of the mind that pretty much anyone that isn't into a world with non-stop killer riffs is no friend of mine. Also: dinosaurs.

Music:

Andy Milonakis. Antonio Vivaldi. A Perfect Circle. Aphex Twin. Apocalyptica. Apollo 440. Art Brut. Battles. Beatles. Benny Benassi. Black Sun Empire. Buddy Holly. Bush. Cake. Carl Orff. Chemical Brothers. Chevelle. Cliff Martinez. Coldplay. Crystal Method. Danny Elfman. Delerium. Devo. Eagles Of Death Metal. Electric Six. Elvis Presley. Eminem. Enigma. Ennio Morricone. Enya. Evanescence. Felix Da Housecat. Filter. Flogging Molly. Freeland. Gipsy Kings. Giuseppe Verdi. Gnarls Barkley. Godspeed You Black Emperor. Hall And Oates. Howard Shore. Iggy Pop. Incubus. Institute. Interpol. INXS. Itzak Perlman. James Horner. John Williams. Justice. KMFDM. Korn. Lamb Of God. LCD Soundsystem. Led Zeppelin. Limp Bizkit. Linkin Park. Lords Of Acid. Loreena McKennitt. Ludwig Von Beethoven. Lunatic Calm. Mars Volta. Massive Attack. Masters Of Chant. Mindless Self Indulgence. Moby. Motorhead. Muse. New Order. Nine Inch Nails. Nirvana. Nobuo Uematsu. Overseer. Philip Glass. Praga Khan. Prodigy. Queen. Radiohead. Rage Against The Machine. Rob Dougan. Scissor Sisters. Sigur Rós. Spiderbait. System Of A Down. Tenacious D. Thom Yorke. Tiger Army. Tool. Underworld. UNKLE. Warsaw. White Zombie. Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart. Wolfmother.

Movies:

300. Akira. Anchorman. Aqua Teen Hunger Force Colon Movie Film For Theaters. Braveheart. Brazil. Cannibal The Musical. Crank. Dark City. Die Hard. Die Hard 2. Die Hard With A Vengeance. Dirty Rotten Scoundrels. Dr Strangelove. Enemy At The Gates. Face/Off. Fight Club. For A Few Dollars More. For A Fistful Of Dollars. Gangs Of New York. Grindhouse. Goodfellas. Hot Fuzz. Indiana Jones. Kill Bill Vol 1. Kill Bill Vol 2. Koyaanisqatsi. Lagaan. Layer Cake. Le Samouraï. Live Free Or Die Hard. Lock Stock And Two Smoking Barrels. Metropolis. Naqoyqatsi. Not Another Teen Movie. Once Upon A Time In America. Once Upon A Time In The West. Powaqqatsi. Run Lola Run. Running Scared. Schindler's List. Serpico. Seven Samurai. Snatch. Star Wars. Stander. Syriana. Terminator 2. The Adventures Of Baron Munchausen. The Bourne Identity. The Bourne Supremacy. The Departed. The Fountain. The Godfather. The Good The Bad And The Ugly. The Lord Of The Rings. The Outlaw Josey Wales. The Prestige. The Proposition. The Road Warrior. The Secret. The Terminator. This Is Spinal Tap. THX-1138. Time Bandits. Transformers. Versus. Wet Hot American Summer. Willow.

Television:

30 Rock, Aqua Teen Hunger Force. Awesometown. Batman And Robin. Beast Wars. Clone High. Extras. Family Guy. FLCL. Foster's Home For Imaginary Friends. Futurama. GI Joe. Hogan Knows Best. Invader Zim. Jackass. Jack Of All Trades. Jeeves And Wooster. Kikaida. Macgyver. Mad Jack The Pirate. Mad TV. Medium. Monty Python's Flying Circus. My Name Is Earl. Pete And Pete. Red Vs Blue. Rejected. Reno 911. Robotech. Salute Your Shorts. Saturday Night Live. Scrubs. Sealab 2021. South Park. Spaced. Spider-Man. Stargate SG-1. Star Trek. Tank Police. The Andy Milonakis Show. The Crystal Maze. The Lonely Island. The Office. Titus. Transformers. Trigger Happy. Viva La Bam. X-Men.

Books:

Flatland.

Heroes:

Frank Radford.

My Blog

Fire!

Date: 13 October 2007We're at the Doug Fir Lounge. It looks a bit snooty. Most of the people here spend way too much on their clothes. And their drinks. Ingrid, Tyler and I are completely out of place...
Posted by Travisaurus rex?! on Thu, 18 Oct 2007 01:33:00 PST

What Is Up, Dreams?

I had a dream of making out with that same person again today. It was hot, no doubt about it, but still. Different person than normal for making out with. What is up, brain? Then she tells me I'm a go...
Posted by Travisaurus rex?! on Thu, 11 Oct 2007 10:03:00 PST

Nice Dream.

It's weird, a few nights ago I had a dream I made out with someone I know. Yes, it's a girl, and no, we didn't do anything more than make out. But it was still weird cause it's not usually someone I w...
Posted by Travisaurus rex?! on Sat, 22 Sep 2007 06:43:00 PST

The Desperate Lamb.

[It should be noted to the reader that there is a torn out page from Victor Trent's journal that held the last conversation that he had with Harry Albertson. The exact date when the entry was written ...
Posted by Travisaurus rex?! on Sun, 19 Aug 2007 03:10:00 PST

The Bleak Entanglement.

Case Study: 1208 Date: 17 June 2012 This can't be true. None of this. I must be dreaming. Or losing my mind. How can this be possible? Any action I take... pointless. What control do I have on anythin...
Posted by Travisaurus rex?! on Sun, 18 Mar 2007 03:59:00 PST

The Janus Illusion.

Case: 1208 Date: 11 June 2012 Things are looking better from a research viewpoint. I was initially reluctant to see the case from Harry's perspective, but now I am finding at least some progress in be...
Posted by Travisaurus rex?! on Sat, 10 Mar 2007 04:33:00 PST

The Northmen.

The man stood at the front of the ship, overlooking the great sea before him. Raging and angry, it splashed hopelessly against the might of the unsinkable hull. The man's aged hand had seen many hards...
Posted by Travisaurus rex?! on Sun, 25 Feb 2007 07:07:00 PST

The Weltanschauung.

Case Study: 1208Date: 16 May 2012The questions asked of the police regarding the positive identification of the patient Harry Albertson yielded no results. According to them, no man named Harry Albert...
Posted by Travisaurus rex?! on Wed, 07 Feb 2007 01:46:00 PST

The Photon Man

Case Study: 1208Date: 10 May 2012As I suspected, the card Harry gave me proved inconclusive. At first, I thought perhaps the address given would be the patient's old apartment, and maybe Harry thought...
Posted by Travisaurus rex?! on Thu, 25 Jan 2007 12:48:00 PST

The Convincing Patient.

Case Study: 1208Date: 5 May 2012The session I had with Harry Albertson yesterday proved most eventful. He seemed to have regained his composure around me and was back to his old familiar self. Albeit ...
Posted by Travisaurus rex?! on Sun, 14 Jan 2007 02:11:00 PST