Steph profile picture

Steph

I am here for Friends and Networking

About Me

I run. I swim. I fall off bikes. I blog .
I write mean things about my family on my blog. Usually they are very forgiving but every so often a therapy bill will get forwarded to me. It's their passive-aggressive way of telling me to shut the hell up.

I take pictures. Sometimes I play poker. Or rather, I've been known to sit at a poker table and hold cards in between distributing my chips to other players.

Also! I'm a married stay-at-home mom of two small children. I drive a 4-Runner. I live in the burbs. I belong to the PTA. You'd think this would have transformed me into a socially acceptable and responsible person. And you would be wrong.

Since quitting work I have joined a rogue motorcycle gang composed of other Elk Grove housewives who - like me - are constantly on the verge of eating their young. Since finding each other we spend our days wiping butts and terrorizing Northern California with our particular brand of deadly housewifery... which is to say we shoot whiskey while waving guns and yelling "fuck" a lot.

Oh, our flavor of domesticity isn't pretty.

...and our kids have the scars to prove it.


My Interests

I'd like to meet:

Who would I like to meet? I'm married. I stay at home. I have two kids. I would like to meet a therapist, that's who I would like to meet.



The Elk Grove Housewives
...always accepting new members. And bail. Lots and lots of bail.

Melissa

Patty

Christina

Check out the mug shots

Custom Friends Space Generator

Mis Amigos!
Tengo muchos amigos!

Neisel

My Dad

The Onion

Jenn

My Brother

Maria

Lori

Jay Man

The In-Laws

My Sister

Uncle Curtis

Cousin Christie

Kristy

Heidi

Armstrong & Getty

Mira mis amigos!
Toda comenta!

My Blog

Quiero cerveza!

I have decided to learn Spanish. Its an endeavor I have pursued on and off for a good chunk of my teen years and those adult years after 1998 when my college-related beer haze wore off.In the past m...
Posted by on Fri, 23 Jan 2009 20:01:00 GMT

A good start to a luddite colony

I want to thank my readers for your kind and encouraging words during last weeks episode of Oh my God I cant take this mind numbing grind much longer and I want to kill myself, or bungee jump out of...
Posted by on Mon, 12 Jan 2009 21:24:00 GMT

Celebrity Dead Pool: The 9 Commandments

Alright, here it is& the long awaited invite to the 2009 Steph Matulich Northern California (not that you have to be from Northern California, I mean you can come from anywhere really, even places lik...
Posted by on Wed, 31 Dec 2008 13:55:00 GMT

Holiday Rehash & End-Of-Year-Wrap-Up

Well, Christmas time has come and gone once again, much to the relief of I - the eternal hater of all things Yuletide. Since I live in the non-Tahoe part of California I've never experienced a "white...
Posted by on Mon, 29 Dec 2008 10:12:00 GMT

I love my siblings

No. I really do. Primarily because they have yet to divulge my most embarrassing secrets involving The New Monkees. &but also because they never pass up the opportunity to serve up humor on a capitali...
Posted by on Thu, 25 Dec 2008 21:28:00 GMT

Family Newsletter - 2008 Edition

If you were on my Christmas card list you opened your mailbox last week to find a Christmas card accompanied by a photo of my offspring and an insert that made roughly 80% of you want to call the cops...
Posted by on Sun, 21 Dec 2008 19:15:00 GMT

...and all with a camera attached to my face.

Well, I suppose the Christmas season is here once again which means that I've switched to an all-tequila-all-the-time diet in order to stave off the deletrious effects of all this holiday-related fami...
Posted by on Wed, 10 Dec 2008 21:36:00 GMT

Abusing the Cosumnes Fire Department

At 3AM the morning after Thanksgiving day the smoke alarm in my home went off. Having never been one to waste an opportunity to punch my husband in the face, I responded to the brain liquefying WHAWHA...
Posted by on Sun, 30 Nov 2008 21:51:00 GMT

I’m grateful for...

&my husband, who keeps me tethered to reality and makes up the engineering half of a partnership that is equal parts "well-planned" (him) and "unequivocally absurd" (me). Charlie. Sophie. Matt. ...
Posted by on Thu, 27 Nov 2008 09:27:00 GMT

Can’t remember post title

So I'm sitting on my couch watching my husband play Call of Duty "World at War" which, so far as I can tell, is only differentiated from "World of Warcraft" by a preposition and the modification...
Posted by on Fri, 21 Nov 2008 21:43:00 GMT