About Me
It is somewhat ironic that I have been chosen to write the bio for Mysta Wryte. I have had very limited contact with him since our High school years in Oakland, yet recently I answered the phone to hear Mysta Wryte tell me Nigga, I need you to write my bio. I am probably just as much at a loss as anyone to describe this man. Myth, legend, fact and fantasy all seem to come together in accounting for the phenomena of this enigmatic figure. I can only relate what I know of personally and make anecdotal references to the many unbelievable stories that have been related to me from highly credible sources.
Both of us being Oakland natives and attending the same Junior High, I was always fascinated by Mysta Wryte. His confident demeanor and flawless good looks always made him the center of attention between both boys and girls. But I think that his life path certainly was formed early in seventh grade when he purchased his first Too $hort tape and heard Freaky Tales. I know this because he played it for me as he sang the lyrics which he had memorized over night. From there on Mysta Wryte was a rapper. When I say rapper, I mean this guy had flows. In High school he battle rapped every MC who dared face him and after beating them, adding insult to injury, would inexplicably later wind up having sexual relations with the MCs girlfriend. Being a humble man of average looks, I could never comprehend this magnetic appeal Mysta Wryte had over the women. It became an old saying in Oakland, If your girlfriend says she never fucked Mysta Wryte shes a lying bitch!
In a rap he once said, Your mama, your girlfriend, your sista, wife or daughter, it really doesnt matter if I want her then I got her. I have seen nothing to ever challenge this statement. Shortly after high school Mysta Wryte told me that he was going to have to leave Oakland because he had had sex with all of the girls in the town. He then did a brief stint in San Diego where he quickly achieved legendary status for pulling more girls than a mathematician can compute directly off the street, taking them to the house and boning, frequently within the span of forty five minutes to an hour. While I hear that in a matter of months he became a household name (At least to many of the house wives) Mysta Wryte quickly had to leave town after accusations of a porn tape circulating with him and the twin daughters of a local politician. It is at this point that the tale becomes even more shrouded in mystery and speculation.
While I cannot account for these events personally (I was in college during this time and had no contact with Mysta Wryte) I have heard from numerous mutual friends that Mysta Wryte was shortly after committed to a mental institution in Napa Valley supposedly for nymphomania (although I have never heard of anyone being committed for this). The story goes that he either escaped one night during a full moon or else was thrown out of the asylum by the doctors because he had been caught having sex with most of the female nurses on staff. The only comment that I have been able to get out of Mysta Wryte in regards to this event is Those Doctors were some cock blockin mutha fuckas which could support either version of the story.
What I do know is that over the coming years Mysta Wryte continued his sex spree up through Northern California leaving a seemingly endless string of women claiming to be his girlfriend, wife or babys mama. To this date there is no marriage certificate or record of birth for the wife or children of Mysta Wryte. Now operating out of Vacaville California, Mysta Wryte continues his one-man crusade to the women of all of the dance floors and clubs of the US. His new album, showcasing his unique style of rap and stage presence, proves to be the worlds introduction to this prolific energy within the hip-hop movement. After years of cultivating his style and sharpening his lyrical abilities to laser precision, Mysta Wryte is ready to add the women all over the world to his harem. I shudder wondering if this planet is ready for such an unprecedented explosion of lyrical mastery and sexual potency. Brace yourself humanity, Mysta Wryte is coming to your town.
-Dr. Carmichael
