Hoops - ProfilesArchive

About Me

Well, I believe in the soul, the cock, the pussy, the small of a woman's back, the hanging curve ball, high fiber, good scotch, that the novels of Susan Sontag are self-indulgent, overrated crap. I believe Lee Harvey Oswald acted alone. I believe there ought to be a constitutional amendment outlawing Astroturf and the designated hitter. I believe in the sweet spot, soft-core pornography, opening your presents Christmas morning rather than Christmas Eve and I believe in long, slow, deep, soft, wet kisses that last three days.
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My Interests

Sailing,long walks on the beach, and cozying up by the fire with that special someone, you know who you are! ;-)

I'd like to meet:

You, because you're this totally awesome person. You understand me. You get where I'm coming from, and that's so cool and something so rare in a person, you know? That's why we can't meet, though. Because I've built you up in my mind so much that meeting you in person would just ruin it. It would make what we have cheap. And I don't want to cheapen our relationship because it's so special to me. What Is Your True Aura Colour?
Yellows are the most fun-loving, free-spirited, energetic, and childlike personalities in the aura spectrum. Yellows are wonderful, sensitive, optimistic beings, whose life purpose is to bring joy to people, to have fun, and to help heal the planet.
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Music:

ABBA to ZZ TopYou can fill in the rest, I listen to it all!

Television:

"Watching television is like taking black spray paint to your third eye." Bill Hicks

Books:

I've read a few in my lifetime.

Heroes:

Anyone willing to go for it!

My Blog

The Worst Bands of ALL TIME

Everyone has their own musical taste. Not everyone has good taste. In fact, America, for the most part, has atrocious taste in tunes. Case in point; American Idol is still moving products. I rest my c...
Posted by Hoops on Fri, 16 May 2008 12:11:00 PST

Mr record store clerk..Im talkin to YOU!

Dear Hipster Record Store Clerk, Thank you for judging me on the CD I bought yesterday. Our passive-aggressive altercation made me realize how conformist I am for buying an old Pearl Jam album. Your...
Posted by Hoops on Wed, 26 Mar 2008 04:16:00 PST

You are a woman..I am a man

Hi. Reasons to date me: - I am a man. This means the following: - I have a penis - I have two testicles - I complain - I have a poor morning disposition (references upon request) - I emit ...
Posted by Hoops on Mon, 25 Feb 2008 10:41:00 PST

Dear scratch off guy

Hey there, scratch-off guy. Funny seeing you again. Seems like every time I stop at my local Quik-E-Mart you are at the counter redeeming your winning scratch-offs. What's that? You won $5 with that...
Posted by Hoops on Thu, 21 Feb 2008 10:57:00 PST

Hating Hatred

The rich hate the poor for being "low" and bothersome. The poor hate the rich for being stuck-up. Blue collar hates white collar for having to work for them. White collar hates blue collar for not ki...
Posted by Hoops on Thu, 14 Feb 2008 08:07:00 PST

To the morons I encounter everyday

1. To the old lady in line in front of me at Target who smells like cat piss: Please don't pay for $25 worth of shit with a bag of change to only find out you're $2.55 short. Also, don't ask th...
Posted by Hoops on Fri, 08 Feb 2008 03:46:00 PST

"What Happened to All the Nice Guys?"

I hear this question asked regularly, so I thought I'd take a minute to explain things to the ladies out there that haven't figured it out. What happened to all the nice guys? The answer is simpl...
Posted by Hoops on Thu, 07 Feb 2008 03:12:00 PST

More aggravating stuff

well....as I sit here bored and dejected at work..I was thinking of what really pisses me off more than shitty drivers, and lo and behold, the list is pretty long! This will get longer and longer .......
Posted by Hoops on Thu, 31 Jan 2008 11:53:00 PST

FUCK YOU BAD DRIVERS

I was angered this morning on the way to work...so here's my first real blog. I expect the worst from Texas drivers and I am rarely disappointed. If people are honking, flashing their lights and sh...
Posted by Hoops on Thu, 31 Jan 2008 05:42:00 PST