The Famous Stain |
To be read out loud in perhaps a yorkshire accent?
The Famous Stain
There's a stain on the wall of our lobby.
Where I tripped and spilt a cup of tea.
And if you turn your head sideways, ...
Posted by on Tue, 03 Jun 2008 03:58:00 GMT |
Despair |
I actually get requests for this....hard to believe i know.
DESPAIR
Dess-pairrr,Despairrrr
Des-pair of hands wants to hold you
I miss your fanny
Fanny little ways they made me laugh...ha-ha
Pert ...
Posted by on Thu, 22 May 2008 02:08:00 GMT |
The Railway Poem |
Written on a train journey, to the rythm of the wheels clicking along the track. Performed live with audience participation
The Railway Poem I work for the railway
sometimes have to stay away ...
Posted by on Thu, 22 May 2008 01:57:00 GMT |
How shall i describe love? (A piece for Pint and Poetry valentine night) |
How shall I describe love?
Love picks you up and whisks you off at breakneck speed on a wild helter-skelter madcap heart-lurching ride that scoots you away in strange new directions you never even kn...
Posted by on Wed, 20 Feb 2008 00:45:00 GMT |
Not one of my greatest, but then, none of them are. |
I WENT TO SCHOOL WITH ASTRONAUTS
I was invited to a school reunion, which took place in three days time.
That's three days to lose three stone, achieve greatness in this weird life of mine.
Because y...
Posted by on Wed, 09 Jan 2008 04:14:00 GMT |
latest thing, no music yet. |
YOU KNOW YOU'RE GETTING OLD....
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You know you're getting old when you suddenly realise you have a bald son
When people s...
Posted by on Tue, 07 Aug 2007 02:23:00 GMT |
My Daddy... a song about my cross-dressing father. |
This is another poem/song from my vast repertoire of non-pc songs that the audiences seem to like. Performed in a deep american accent and played(badly) on a half-size electro acoustic guitar. MY DADD...
Posted by on Wed, 23 May 2007 02:23:00 GMT |
i'm in love with a granny..a classic song in thrashpunk style |
To be spat out in a thrash punk spittle fueled tirade...
I'M IN LOVE WITH A GRANNY G D Am I've got a new girl, her hair is blue G D G I met her in the Post Office queue G D Am Her withered lips...
Posted by on Wed, 23 May 2007 02:18:00 GMT |
Wild West Gran..a moving song about my nutty granny |
this song/poem is based on the fact that when i was a small child my grandmother began to act more and more strangely until one day she was taken away and put in an asylum, never to return......aaah. ...
Posted by on Wed, 23 May 2007 02:13:00 GMT |
a sea shanty what i wrote |
a rolling sing-song shanty i have delivered to a live audience with them providing the "WOOO_OOOH" at the end of each verse. . Sea Shanty Well I went away to sea, and it was girls I hoped to meet But ...
Posted by on Tue, 22 May 2007 15:54:00 GMT |
