About Me

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HSUS MySpace Page | Stop Puppy Mills Website
all that i am gravitates towards you, you are my sun, and i am merely revolving around you until you've burned out, and explode my entire universe. i won't be left in cold, and i won't seek different light, i'll be content that i was there for the entire thing. and i got to be yours. all yours, and though your light shines everywhere you go, you are still all mine. and then eventually, i'll die out, too, and i'll find you for whatever happens after that.
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there are very beautiful things, and very ugly things. i like them both. i secretly have a very dark side, some of you have seen it, some of you never will. only one person get me entirely; [to everyone else: my heart, mind, soul, body, and everything that i am will always belong to john mason. don't even try to effect me, i've found the person i will be with forever. be my friend or don't. i won't lose sleep. i really would enjoy your company though!] i enjoy beautiful women; and indulging in threesomes now and then when i've been good. these are a few of my favourite things: jumping when the elevator starts, jumpropes, lime green shag carpets, pill bottles, lime rines, tarot cards, diggin holes, theology, cannibalism, history, the occult, tin foil, oatmeal and reading to trees concerning the animal kingdom, i would be a rodent; but if i got to pick id be an elephant. i am a cannibal. my favourite colour is orange. i have a tattoo of my deceased hamster, she represents a lot for me. i believe ive mastered the the arts of seduction and atmosphere, i am very well contained and do not get angry at small things. i try to take opinions of me the best i can, as opinion isn't a true statement, and therefore difficult to argue (it can be done though. my sisters are experts on it. they can make anyone wrong). my biggest vice is sleeping i like plastic jewelry, but i can't wear any because my skin is very sensitive and i break out in rash a few hours of wearing said jewelry. i am very prone to infection. i live and breath in pencil led, my drawings come from a place in my head i can no longer reach otherwise. it bothers me that it's there and remains a storm in my head, that i can't calm.
imagine you are in a box. there is a small hole to peek out of, your only source to see to the world around you, to communicate with the people that want you to behave a certain way, feel a certain way, and can't understand why you are trapped inside, but can't fully get you out, either. there are aweful and unheard of things inside there with you. there are also very beautiful and tragic things too. no one else can see them, you only can describe them as you look at these things. you have only words and attempts to reproduce these worlds you inhabit in your head. you are alone. that is how it feels to be me.
beauty=
things i like:
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ashley + john = forever

Sunsets lost in
Skies of hazy greys
June gloom sets in
Puts me in a daze
Nothing changes
All we do is wait
Our heads hanging
Shaking in dismay
Cuz everyone's afraid

Looks like the end of days
But it takes so much more
For anyone to say
We need another way
But if we wanted one
We'd do it just the same

Winter's coming
Still we're soaked in sun
Summer somehow
Split us one by one
Days are darker
Than they've ever been
But who could tell when
Summer never ends
(we've capsized in our end)

Looks like the end of days
But it takes so much more
For anyone to say
We need another way
But if we wanted one
We'd do it just the same

Words don't change a thing
Sun disguises darkness
Wish that I could save you
Wish that I could stop this

Looks like the end of days
But it takes so much more
For anyone to say
We need another way
But if we wanted one
We'd do it just the same

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My life is near perfect, those other girls that broke his heart and left; well; they were stupid. They were really stupid. Ive proven myself as the only girl who ever really loved him, the way he needs to be loved. I think about those girls and laugh because of how happy they could be. How sad they probably are.

(i cant go on living like this. i kill a bug and im upset for two hours. how compulsive.)

I'd like to meet:

i want to meet vera farmiga and become just as beautiful and charming as she is.

Music:

bedroom philosophy, ben harper, ryan adams, cursive, saul williams, trophy scars, scarling, laika and the cosmonauts, !!!, sigur ros, receiving ends of sirens, sage francais, portugal the man, oh sleeper, scary kids scaring kids, the distillers, devandra banhart, regina spektor, chiados, rasputina, shiny toy guns, ditty bops, otep, queens of the stone age, yeah yeah yeahs, raconteurs, sia, alanis, allison krauss, dear hunter, ashlee simpson, audioslave, dredg, she wants revenge, early november, cake, brand new, eels, the like, every time i die, babes in toyland, beastie boys, anna nalick, circle takes the square, amanda palmer + dresden dolls, the fall of troy, daniel powter, number 12 looks like you, dear hunter, deathstopsdesire, from first to last, mewithoutYou, fear before the march of flames, anberlin, afi, from autumn to ashes, matchbox 20, brandi carlile, bikini kill, rascal flatts, rasputina, ciera, paul simon, sarah mclachlan, rilo kiley, the beatles, bright eyes, tori amos, sarah brightman, rob zombie, fiona apple, blink 182, violent femmes, kanye, jason mraz, chopin, fleetwood mac, philip glass, baz luhrmann, shivaree, the good life, stars, gorillaz, scapegoat wax, goo goo dolls, sheryl crow, mariah carey, bjork, tatu, the killers, good charlotte, TEGAN AND SARA, elliot smith, sugarland, horror pops, bloodhound gang, frank + nancy sinatra, the chariot, bob dylan, le tigre, no doubt, metallica, radiohead, ziggy marley, boys nigh out, blood brothers, jack johnson, KMK, beck, kenny chesney, modest mouse, imogen heap, elvis, pixies, wallflowers, the coors, the corrs, razorlight, rainer maria, placebo, garbage, taproot, frou frou, the smiths, fall out boy, bratmobile, bootsy collins, sugarcult, twiztid, ICP, metric, melissa theridge, damian marley, tsunami bomb, dixie chicks, smokey robinson, don omar, dispatch, REM, missy higgins, bloodhound gang, bad taste people music, thermo, incubus, gwar, jack's mannequin, grateful dead, BOA, blaze ya dead homie, scissor sisters, placebo, mazzy star, kay hanley, tracy chapman, disturbed, ataris, gorillaz, led zepplyn, jewel, bob dylan, sublime, OK go, bush, arlo guthrie, plain white t's, paula cole, wolf parade, nelly furtado, my chemical romance, jim the janitor, bob marley, omar a. rodriguez-lopez, the strokes, atmosphere, bauhaus, sixpence none the richer, natas, NIN, nirvana, beth hart, kill hannah, nore, killwhitneydead, shakira, misfits, murder by death, jimmy eat world, finch, motion city soundtrack, interpol, weezer, faith hill, jamie o'neil, natalie imbruglia, arcade fire, liam lynch, the locust, the smiths, lifehouse, rod stewart, death cab for cutie, jack johnson, yann tiersenn, rilo kiley, morrissey, lou reed, between the buried and me, ellie lawson, ataris, muse, regina spektor,

Movies:

gone with the wind, flesh for the beast, philidelphia story, street car, big lebowski, white noise, donnie darko, american psycho, fucking death to smootchy, anything uma but especially even cowgirls get the blues, smoking aces, the mist, midnight in the garden of good and evil

Television:

MEERKAT MANOR, simpsons, house, viva la bam, kids in the hall, family guy sucks, most extreme, wrestling, csi, diognosis unknown, all discovery networks and channels including animal planet, animal planet, animal planet.

Books:

"The righteous shall rejoice when he sees the vengeance. He shall wash his feet in the blood of the wicked." (Psalms 58:10)
brave new world, gone with the wind, pure, white oleander, speak, paint it black, water for elephants, KISS ME JUDAS, loving frank, the holy Koran, atlas shrugged, of mice and men, the great gatsby, lord of the flies, slaughterhouse-5, anything about spiders,

Heroes:

my mom
i hate myself.

im my sister's biggest fan

kurt vonnegut
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"It was like good, fully developed veal, not young, but not yet beef. It was very definitely like that, and it was not like any other meat I had ever tasted. It was so nearly like good, fully developed veal that I think no person with a palate of ordinary, normal sensitiveness could distinguish it from veal. It was mild, good meat with no other sharply defined or highly characteristic taste such as for instance, goat, high game, and pork have. The steak was slightly tougher than prime veal, a little stringy, but not too tough or stringy to be agreeably edible. The roast, from which I cut and ate a central slice, was tender, and in color, texture, smell as well as taste, strengthened my certainty that of all the meats we habitually know, veal is the one meat to which this meat is accurately comparable."

courtney lee

My Blog

i want to change the world

a very large part of my soul wants more than what i am doing.a very large part wants to make an effort to change the world, else how can i sit here and complain about how hopeless things are?if i didn...
Posted by bouffant bootsy on Fri, 10 Oct 2008 11:25:00 PST

i feel like my brain is leaking out my ears, what a headache ive got.

things get harder, as i get more and more tired. i think im getting sick, i can feel it. summer colds are the worst. when im sick i want to sleep even more. as if how much i sleep isnt already enough....
Posted by bouffant bootsy on Fri, 04 Jul 2008 01:09:00 PST

just stupid me, being stupid me

all i want to do is make things okay for you.you left the room and i started talking to myself: phil was busy, so i said, ill wait a minute, and then ill tell you my side. he said, okay.so i told him ...
Posted by bouffant bootsy on Thu, 19 Jun 2008 09:28:00 PST

sex is still an expression, i want to lick you too much

its amazing to have those nights, dark and warm. fish on the screen, scary things. im not scared (you keep me safe) fuck the girls that passed you up. that dont mean anything, they havnt since we kiss...
Posted by bouffant bootsy on Mon, 21 Apr 2008 08:28:00 PST

bootsy says fiction

i want to find you, wherever you are. i always liked in the movies, when someone gets stabbed and the blood sprays back, onto the killers face. how satisfying that must be.light you on fire (and breat...
Posted by bouffant bootsy on Mon, 07 Apr 2008 09:25:00 PST

note to john <3

i think i'm getting better at pretending i'm not hearbroken. 'i want to work thursday', i say, and like he knows what im thinking he asks me if it won't be too much. i'm near crawling here, he loves m...
Posted by bouffant bootsy on Tue, 19 Feb 2008 08:34:00 PST

that jury believed me

so, i wanted to put this in a note, but i decided to blog it, AND write you a note, so you could have two things to read. i have so much to tell you all the time, anyway.dear john,it's hard for me to ...
Posted by bouffant bootsy on Mon, 18 Feb 2008 09:36:00 PST

i smile in our sanctuary, away from the noise

i want to bring people into your life. i know you crave social situations, it's a drug you can't buy anywhere, i smile out there in the world: but it's a mask, hiding how much i miss you. youre so hap...
Posted by bouffant bootsy on Tue, 12 Feb 2008 08:47:00 PST

homesick

snowed in.i was looking forward to going home all day. in class i think about how much i miss just the smell of him. then i inhale his hoodie like i need it more than a cigarette, and i...
Posted by bouffant bootsy on Wed, 30 Jan 2008 08:58:00 PST

tracking muddy footprints into my heart

some fiction for you: she was popular for the first time in her life. dyed long hair, and new clothes to rock the boys at the party scene. maybe she was too effective at drawing the flies to her head...
Posted by bouffant bootsy on Fri, 18 Jan 2008 06:58:00 PST