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ADD ME ON FLICKR!!! EleanorRigby505
Howdy.
Yes, welcome to another edition of Eleanor's life story only slightly condensed. Oh yes, fasten your seat belts indeed. It starts when I was born in a land called Croydon. Melbourne is a wonderful place; my 'crib', literally at this stage, could never stop me escaping, I reckon it's because I was aware of the cool city down the road and it was my attempt to go catch a train and go clubbing and hang in the city. Anywho Brisbane was next, where I lived in a place that always smelt weirdly like gumtrees and mown grass and bushfires called Tarragindi; considering most people in Brisbane don't even know where this is even though it's right in the centre, I'm wondering if my entire family entered the Twilight zone for a few years without even realising. Oh and by Twilight, I do NOT mean that bloody book that everyone talks about ALL THE TIME. I'm sure I'll give in and read it one day, but until that day, I REMAIN UNCONVINCED AND NONCONFORMIST!! WOOOOO! So where were we? Brisbane. Here's a couple of memories from my time in the smart city (which is ironic and kind of sad ALL THINGS CONSIDERED *coughlowesttestscoresinAustraliacough*):
1. Going to Greenslopes and having this lady get me to pat her toy ferret. It was one of those ones attached to a plastic ball that roll themselves around and run over themselves. Even I knew at the age of eightish that it WASN'T REAL and yet this woman COULD NOT BE TOLD. What if she'd given me a disease? Then you wouldn't laugh!
2. Waking up to the Beatles/Pink Floyd/Led Zeppelin/Van Morrison/ Jethro Tull/etc every weekend and getting a bit shitted off because at this stage I much preferred Spice Girls.
3. My friends stripping at NYE and getting threatened by golf club weilding neighbours.
4. SO. MANY. MCDONALDS. BIRTHDAYS. ALWAYS. WITH. THOSE. STRAW. GAMES. How retarded really, they throw a bunch of straws on the ground and for some reason YOU SCRAMBLE FOR YOUR LIFE to get them before Timmy and Ishmail and Milly.
5. I feel like everything was always on fire! Because it was. Ever had a lock down because of smoke inhalation?? Eh eh EH?? I have.
6. My weird neighbours that bought me a Snoopy eraser which I still have the head of somewhere.
7. Being an only child, I would spend my days sitting alone on a swing talking to myself or singing or conducting training on my dog. When the swing broke I was ready to throw myself off my porch, and used to try and swing on the bigger half of the splintered wood anyway.
Good times...
Now things are a bit different, but not much. I'm made happy by people, probably an extension of my depressed solo child state that must have mentally scarred me for years. That said, it explains my love/hate relationship with social contact... and throwing myself at walls while wearing funny hats. That explains that. I think. I do get occasionally suddenly weirdly pissed off, but I think I can blame that on my family's undiscovered manic depressant tendencies... Yeah good excuse. Thanks. Last summer was a blur of champagne, cheetahs and tiger tatoos, graffiti, driving, minature puddings, smoke, photos, dog fights, baby's crying, aeroplanes, magazines, music and mouth organ pianos, hopefully this will be a repeat. I'm 18! I get to vote soon, OH YEAH. That, or I'll draw a cartoon on it or write something intelligent but incredibly witty. Thanks to IB, I can no longer enjoy a movie on a pure shallow level, listen to Spanish music without translating bits in my head, watch the news without relating EVERYTHING to something that happened like 60 years ago at least, reading a poem without going OOOH STANZAS and trying to explain people's health problems with biology and chromosomes. LIFE IS GREAT. Will be good to one day forget all of this and know that I spent my time well... Our lives were hijacked. And changed. And burnt on the BONFIRE OF SOCIAL CONTACT.
Oh, and comment me because otherwise I will turn up at your bedside at 2.36am, possibly missing skin or body parts to add effect, and like steal your dog or something.
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