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61991837

Have faith that the ones we love are not lost to us forever, but wait to live with us in Peace for a

About Me

Im 23, im 5"8' and about 160lbs. I am currently in the navy, and stationed with a Hawkeye Squadron in Norfolk, VA. I am also married to a very wonderful woman... Danielle. We have one child, a daughter, Haidee Jayne Bartlett! .. The Man of 101 Voices
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My Interests

I'd like to meet:

Whoever wants to shoot the shit!!!!! ............................................................ ............................................................ ............................................................ ........................................................ AMAZINGLY SIMPLE HOME REMEDIES1.If you are choking on an ice cube, don't panic. Simply pour a cup of boiling water down your throat and presto. The blockage will be almost instantly removed. 2. Clumsy? Avoid cutting yourself while slicing vegetables by getting someone else to hold them while you chop away. 3. Avoid arguments with the Mrs. About lifting the toilet seat by simplyusing the sink. 4. For high blood pressure sufferers: simply cut yourself and bleed for few minutes, thus reducing the pressure in your veins. Remember to use a timer. 5. A mouse trap, placed on top of your alarm clock, will prevent you from rolling over and going back to sleep after you hit the snooze button. 6. If you have a bad cough, take a large dose of laxatives, then you will be to afraid to cough. 7. Have a bad toothache? Smash your thumb with a hammer and you will forget about the toothache. 8. Chapped lips? Rub chicken $hit on them. It won't ease the chapping, but it will keep you from licking them. 9. Sometimes, we just need to remember what the rules of life really are. You only need two tools: WD-40 and Duct Tape. If it doesn't move and should, use the WD-40. If it shouldn't move and does, use the duct tape. And finally.....Remember: Everyone seems normal until you get to know them. One out of every four people suffer from a mental disorder. If you have three friends, and none of them have a problem ....well .... you do the math! ................ ......... ..... ............................................................ ............... Redneck Man's Pickup Lines: 1) Did you fart? cuz you blew me away. 2) Are yer parents retarded? cuz ya sure are special. 3) My Love fer you is like diarrhea . I can't hold it in. 4) Do you have a library card? cuz I'd like to sign you out. 5) Is there a mirror in yer pants? cuz I can see myself in em. 6) If you was a tree I were a Squirrel, I'd store my nuts in yer hole. 7) You might not be the best lookin girl here, but beauty's only a light switch away. 8) Man - "Fat Penguin!" Woman - "WHAT?" Man - "I just wanted to say something that would break the ice." 9) I know I'm not no Fred Flintstone, but I bet I can make yer bed-rock. 10) I can't find my puppy, can you help me find him? I think he went inta this cheap motel room. 11) Yer eyes are as blue as window cleaner. 12) If yer gunna regret this in the mornin, we kin sleep til afternoon. and.... the best for last! 13) Yer face reminds me of a wrench, every time I think of it my nuts tighten up

My Blog

Sex Riddles

1. What do you say  to a virgin when she sneezes? Goes-in-tight.   2. What does a 72-year-old  snatch taste like? Depends .   3. What's "68"? You do me  and I o...
Posted by on Thu, 12 Oct 2006 07:57:00 GMT

Sunday School

Little Mary was not the best student in Sunday School. Usually she > slept through the class. One day the teacher called on her while she   was napping,''Tell me, Mary, who created the universe?'...
Posted by on Wed, 11 Oct 2006 22:10:00 GMT

Square Testicals

An elderly woman walked  into the Bank of Canada one morning with a pursefull of money. She wanted  to open a savings account and insisted ontalking to the president of the Bank because, she...
Posted by on Wed, 11 Oct 2006 22:10:00 GMT

No idea

A man was walking down the street when he was accosted by a particularlydirty and shabby-looking homeless man who asked him for a couple of dollarsfor dinner.. The man took out his wallet, extracted t...
Posted by on Wed, 11 Oct 2006 22:07:00 GMT

Thermodynamics of hell

The following is supposedly an actual question given on University ofWashington chemistry mid-term. The answer by one student was so "profound"that the professor shared it with colleagues, via the Int...
Posted by on Wed, 11 Oct 2006 22:02:00 GMT

Game, Games, Games

One evening last week, my girlfriend and I were getting into bed.Well, the passion starts to heat up, and she eventually says, "I don't feellike it, I just want you to hold me."I said, "WHAT??!! What ...
Posted by on Wed, 11 Oct 2006 22:00:00 GMT

funny letter to some kids dad!!!!

A father passing by his son's bedroom, was astonished to see thebed was nicely made, and everything was picked up. Then, hesaw an envelope, propped up prominently on the pillow. It wasaddressed, ...
Posted by on Wed, 27 Sep 2006 23:22:00 GMT

more poetry

  Blushing, dawn sleepily raises its gaze and heralds transubstantiation of awareness.  Pale lemon light, pouring forth from betwixt reticulated clouds, waves of triumphant citrus or ambient...
Posted by on Thu, 21 Sep 2006 10:15:00 GMT

A little Poem I Wrote!

The Struggle Within   This narrow ledge    I stand on now, Threatens to break    And show me how, The hunted bird feels    When the bullet bites, And ...
Posted by on Fri, 15 Sep 2006 13:10:00 GMT