Aaron profile picture

Aaron

I SMELL A SITCOM

About Me

Go to this site now!!! Don't hesitate, don't even blink just go!!! www.urbansamurai.org

My Interests

Everything except war...Well actually it depends on the war. I mean if it's well produced and presented to me by our government in a way that doesn't interfere with my daily life which revolves around rampantly wastrel consumerism then I can be a huge fan of war.

I'd like to meet:

People who pursue that which they love with reckless abandon.

Music:

I can play a mean lute, and by lute I mean kazoo, and by kazoo I mean my armpit, and by armpit I mean the harp.

Movies:

I made a movie about exploding transexual nuns, you might have seen it. It was entitled Bridget Jones Diary. The damn post production editor totally ruined that film it didn't even remotely match my vision.

Television:

COPS!!! Man what a great show it just never gets old, with the running, and the shirtless drunk guy, and the freaked out trailer trash girlfriend, man quality television...

Books:

I know it's technically not a book but I really enjoy Victoria Secret catalogs. But don't get the wrong idea! I know what you're thinking but you're wrong. I like them because of the women in their underwear.

Heroes:

You are my hero. And also Paris Hilton.

My Blog

Sexy Jesus

There was a publication that recently came out from a Christian organization that I think is ripe for exploration.  Not the content of the book itself necessarily but rather the title and cover.&...
Posted by Aaron on Fri, 22 Jun 2007 02:23:00 PST

And Open Letter to Miranda Otto

(Unless Tina Fey finds it appealing in which case please replace her name with yours.) Dear Miranda,  Hello.  I am writing to you in order to persuade you to leave your husband and marry ...
Posted by Aaron on Sun, 15 Jul 2007 02:07:00 PST

I have a dream

I have a dream.  I found my calling in life.  About a month ago I was in Surdyks (I don't care if that isn't how you spell it) the liquor store across the river and I made an amazing fi...
Posted by Aaron on Wed, 29 Nov 2006 10:36:00 PST

No Car Will Travel

So I no longer own a car. I'll give you all a moment to soak that in. Maybe for some of you from the coasts or any other country that has electricity that doesn't seem like that big of a deal. In the ...
Posted by Aaron on Fri, 03 Nov 2006 03:35:00 PST

Gluten Free Jesus

So I took a call from a church secretary the other day that was calling to field a young couples concern about their son.  You see this kid is allergic to everything; we're talking one step away ...
Posted by Aaron on Wed, 25 Oct 2006 06:03:00 PST

Bad News

Bad bad bad news....well its pretty bad news....maybe not that bad....ok so its not really that big of a deal...I mean it is unfortunate but....I guess you could say its more like mediocre news.... I ...
Posted by Aaron on Thu, 19 Oct 2006 01:30:00 PST

Eternal Parody

I went to Body Worlds the other day. For those of you who have no idea what that is, check this link.http://www.bodyworlds.com/en/exhibitions/current_exhibi tions.htmlTo put it simply it's a bunch of d...
Posted by Aaron on Wed, 18 Oct 2006 01:54:00 PST

Maddness

Madness is a foregone conclusion when an agnostic playwright takes a customer service job at a religious publishing house. Talking to countless pastors and little old church ladies day in and out, sel...
Posted by Aaron on Tue, 17 Oct 2006 10:21:00 PST

My Awakening

I've got three words for you, dry clean only, or I love you. One or the other, you must choose. You wouldn't believe the sex I didn't have last night. Man it was amazing the way I had nothing ...
Posted by Aaron on Fri, 13 Oct 2006 05:07:00 PST

False Alarm

Ok so I'm not going to quit drinking you've all convinced me to kill more brain cells and destroy my life! Let's doooooooooooo iiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiit! Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr! But I'm quiting crack.
Posted by Aaron on Fri, 07 Jul 2006 02:36:00 PST