Wow! A whole paragraph to try and explain a little about me? Well here it goes ... my life began in Leavenworth, Kansas, or out in the country of Leavenworth atleast. Usually out there you don't venture in the big city, and usually find a girl you went to high school with, and marry them at a very early age. Well I didn't. Infact, as soon as I graduated, I moved to Overland Park immediately working various jobs around Oak Park Mall, meeting new people along the way.
Me!
Figured it was time for a little update, so enjoy. Everything is still pretty much the same. Aside from attempting to have as much fun as possible, while avoiding a trip to the police department ... I have a new calling in life. It's called Beer Drinking Games Extraordinaire. That's right, it's already an official job title; go ahead, Google it. Not only do I master the skills of each event, but I also find ways to improve it, or make it more fun which can and usually are the same thing. Another favorite past time of mine is Adult Drinking Establishments. Yes, at some point or another I have left my card there, forgetting to pay my tab while profusely intoxicated ... so I'm pretty sure you can go to most bars around the Kansas City area and put a drink on my tab using my left behind card.
I'm also a huge fan of the female population. From your short skirts, fishnet stockings, and knee high black leather boots ... I love you already, you just weren't aware of it until now. Infact, if you would like to join me at Mickey's on a Monday Night, which I call "High Roller/Baller Night" ... I would gladly buy you a beverage of your choice; and yes, double waters on the rocks are included.
What I'm not a fan of? Law Enforcement. First off, why are police officers always around when they don't need to be, and never around when they need to be? Surely not letting me drive home while completely annhilated, towing my car because I didn't have a license to drive it, urinating in public, or speeding very excessively are all equally cooler things to do than I don't know, homicide, robbery, or drug traffiking. If you are a cop, want to be a cop, or used to be a cop... I hate you already, you just weren't aware of it until now. No thanks to you, I recently got my license back to operate my vehicle legally again after over a one year suspension. But thanks to you, you completely ruined my drunk bowling nights. Everytime I go to a bowling alley, I have to keep my head on a swivel just incase you want to try and arrest me again. Bastards.
If you are reading this, you are probably pretty freakin' bored, so here is a list of what you could be doing on this particular night, go ahead drink it all in...
MONDAY - Dollar Drink Night at Mickey's. Where else can you get completely oblivuishly drunk for under $20. And yes, I did just create that word, go ahead, google that too, it's already official.
TUESDAY - If I haven't already awaken from my coma from the night before, Harpo's or One80 is another treat for a good value. However, Missouri tends to not like me too much, so please, offer me a ride!
WEDNESDAY - Now that baseball season is soon to begin, this day is reserved for Royals' games. If not, Kareoke Night at Tanner's with Sally, Maggie and Kendra is a good 'ol pastime favorite. And if you've seen the pictures, yes, I'm still under a one year ban from singing at all Kareoke spots around the KC area.
THURSDAY - A chill night, 100% recovery day ... uh, yeah right. This is the day we all refer to as Thirsty Thursday, where High Noon as been known to house such an event. Usually a house party afterwards is highly recommended, no soberness here folks.
FRIDAY - I get paid on this magical, extrawonderous day. And yes, once again, I created another official word, google that too while you look up the extensive definitions. Then I commence to anywhere that serves adult alcoholic beverages. Buyer beware, this is a possible streak night, so bring your running shoes regardless, and a scarf just incase it gets a bit nippy.
SATURDAY - I call this the wild card night. Where anything can go down, and usually does. Well, mainly me after a furious guantlet of shots at which we create the greatest toasts ever imagined. Also, this is my dance night, so chances are high that I may create a new dance. Currently perfecting the "Kenny Krunk Parallel Park," with my dance duo partner Sallabama or Sally as her other friends refer to her as! And don't attempt it soberly.
SUNDAY - Home in Leavenworth! The good fresh country air. Usually alcohol free. This day is reserved for recharging for the upcoming weekly work schedule, which my work schedule is completely outlined above for the week. Also a great day for Marco Polo, and not always in a pool.
