All My life I've struggled to find nothing but truth and beauty. The longer I live, the more I come to understand that these are made up words. Beauty is defined as an object which, in summation of all its parts, needs nothing more or nothing less. Truth itself has no solid definition. I find that slightly ironic. Anyway, I've decided after many years of deep thinking in bars, on beaches, in gardens, and in the arms of lovers, that they are one and the same. But, they are not what I once believed, mystic qualities that would open new paths of self, new dawnings of enlightenment. Truth and beauty are merely what the world is without us. Without man and woman. Without our crap, without our lies, our jealousies, our greed, our excuses. Sure, we are capable of beautiful things, we are able to bring meaning to a world which has so many questions, we are able to create so much, but in our absence, all remains the same. History, our history, is nothing but a collection of short stories in the scheme of the universal epic. So, why do we continue to believe that there is something grander in this world than what we can see? Why do we rage wars in the names of God, Money, Love? Because most of us hate the idea that we are just a tiny little blip on a wall that goes on into infinity, covered in an infinite number of other blips, human or not.
I don't care if you believe this or not, I'm not saying I believe it completely myself, it's just one perspective. But...... I do believe that I'm not as important as I'd like to think sometimes. The world does not revolve around me, I am not Earth in some archaic medieval depiction of the universe. The world continues to turn despite my screams of, "Stop!!! I don't understand... I can't see... I don't know...." I am not a beautiful and unique snowflake. I am the all-singing, all-dancing crap of the world. I am, ultimately, disposable.
I no longer search for truth, I tire of the heartache and the disappointment it brings in droves between those little bursts of bright white light. I no longer search for beauty in a world that thinks luxury is how much leather is in your car or the number of little pieces of plastic in your back pocket. But, I still see when it's there, and I soak it up, because I know now that truth and beauty sought is seldom found, it comes only to those who are in need of it.I guess what I'm trying to say is, that from this point on, I will no longer search tirelessly for such abstract things as true love, fortune, or eternal salvation. If they find their way to me I will consider myself a lucky man and die happily thence. All I can do here and now is to be what I am, see what I can, endure what I must, love the world as it is, and hope it all turns out right. I may be disposable, but the truth and the beauty is, I am. And that is the only thing that matters. Also, if you wanna argue about this or other nonsensicles, hit me up on AIM. I'm under "Cybertrophoric". I'm usually pretty good at listening as well.
MySpace Layouts
MySpace Graphics
MySpace Generators
