ResonantSilence

[15. HAPPY TO BE SAD. NOT a sweet little angel. dark arts. kohl eyeliner. marvin the martian. water. sleeping. music. green apple. sunset. pizza. madre-kuno. wiccan. deep. morbid minded. sadistic. maldita. weird. demented. reserved. a ferrari fan. reads between the lines. reads beyond the lines. doesn't give a damn. luthien. daughter of Orodeth. loved by Govindor. captured in the sack of Nargothrond. killed by orcs at the Crossings of Teiglin and buried in the Haudh-en-Elleth. i linger in the doorway of alarm clock screaming monsters calling my name. let me stay where the wind will whisper to me. where the raindrops as they're falling tell a story. in my field of paper flowers and candy clouds of lullaby. i lie inside myself for hours and watch my purple sky fly over me. don't say i'm out of touch. with this rampant chaos- your reality. i know well what lies beyond my sleeping refuge. the nightmare i built my own world to escape. i don't know what's worth fighting for. or why i have to scream. i don't know why i instigate and say what i don't mean. i don't know how i got this way. i know it's not alright. i got a heart full of pain. head full of stress. handful of anger held in my chest. and everything left is a waste of time. i hate my rhymes. i'm riding on the back of this pressure. guessing that it's better. i can't keep myself together. because all of this stress gave me something to write on. the pain gave me something i could set my sights on. nothing ever stops all these thoughts and the pain attached to them. sometimes i wonder why this is happening. it's like nothing i can do will distract me when i think of how i shot myself in the back again. cause from the infinite words i could say. put all the pain you gave to me on display. but didn't realize instead of setting it free. i took what i hated and made it part of me. something has been taken from deep inside of me. a secret i've kept locked away. no one can ever see. wounds so deep they never show. they never go away. like moving pictures in my head for years and years they've played. so pardon me while I burst into flames. i've had enough of the world and it's people's mindless games. so pardon me while i burn and rise above the flame. pardon me. pardon me. i'll never be the same.][from childhood's hour i have not been as others were- i have not seen as others saw- i could not bring my passions from a common spring. from the same source i have not taken my sorrow. i could not awaken my heart to joy at the same tone. and all i lov'd, i lov'd alone. then- in my childhood- in the dawn of a most stormy life- was drawn from ev'ry depth of good and ill. the mystery which binds me still. from the torrent of the fountain. from the red cliff of the mountain. from the sun that 'round me roll'd. in its autumn tint of gold- from the lightning in the sky. as it pass'd me flying by- from the thunder and the storm. and the cloud that took the form when the rest of heaven was blue. of a demon in my view.]Hates: [gullible=STUPIDITY. people who look down on me. posers. spooky kids. hipocrites. liars. RnB/hiphop. flirts. heart evangelista/love marie ongpauco. boybands. sunrise. being disturbed while sleeping. aristoCRAPS. politicians. anywayS. dashboard confessionalS. [what's with the "S"?!] people who dress up for the... MALL?! [i mean, it's just the mall... sheesh!] -this girl dresses LIKE avril lavigne... she must've really liked her COOL punk get up- well screw you schmuck! i am NOT turning music into fashion, honey!] -_-;;