c.vance profile picture

c.vance

I am here for Networking

About Me


i have completed a novel. it is good. you should read it someday. often times post inebriated autobiographical nonsense at my livejournal:
http://ezr-2stalk-wlj.livejournal.com
if you have any desire to read a few of my favorites, these are them:
my heart is singing sorry lil' chipmunk don't flatter yourself chimps bath the one to be blamed your'e not allowed to post here product of my learning Sarah narcoleptic whore
probably more than you needed. if you need more, i've got a lil' chapbook thingy... poems and stories, 32 pages, perfect bound--- $5. if you want one, go to THROWBACKBOOKS.COM or drop me a line and i'll get one mailed off.

had a profile in the local paper today (09/08/08) and you can read it Here not sure how long the link will last, tho.

My Interests

I'd like to meet:


a woman content to let me worship her beauty and will not defile the gestalt of her body by letting words escape from it. and if she has a place to live, methinks i'm in the mood to syphon off of a woman again. nothing grand--- i have 72 typewriters; i need to obtain 27 more to fulfill my "one typewriter per rejection slip" promise, so if you have the space....

Who I'd hate to meet:
anyone who has been to Burning Man and enjoyed it--- anyone who pays a millionaire who profits on idiots who pay too much money to do drugs on public land - in a desert, in the summer - with a bunch of other idiots... just to watch something burn. we live in a desert. i grew up burning things here/doing drugs here--- never once paid anyone to do it for me and watch from a distance. burners are fucking morons.
anyone who uses that space to the left--- the one marked "Books"? ---as a space to put a picture of their self and some other girl almost kissing in a public place. it's not a place to put a survey about your kissing style/it is not a place for a picture of your celebrity look-alike (that you look nothing like)/it not a space for a survey/it is for nothing but the listing of authors and books; if you do not have that then, methinks, you are a piece of shit. and, if they are listed - spell the bastards' names properly; christ almighty. i've seen Gaiman spelled four different ways - best so far is "Alfred Camus" . close second is "Frolinghetti" on the same dumb bitch's page....

Fantasies:

doodling this little 3" doodle at the D - trying to get the waitress to notice me - i remembered another fantasy. when i was working at Papa's there was a cute girl Bri who just turned 21 who would come up and lean her crotch against the metal prep table when i had the cheese grater going; she liked the vibrations on her clit. and i figure if that's the only way i can entice Calliope to come around, i'll plug in my IBM Selectric II because sitting on top of that thing while someone is beating at the keys would be better than fucking atop a washing machine on spin cycle. i'm sure the daughters of Zues will continue to ignore me but, well... worth a try. still, the only reoccuring fantasy is a big-hipped woman - naked - on a barstool in a busy tavern. there is a bottle of dark red in front of her, two glasses and an empty barstool. tho, after re-watching The Dreamers--- that scene where Eva Green is wearing only a sheet wrapped around her hips and long black gloves against a black backdrop---? posed in a perfect Venus De Milo pose---? yeah. that. it's god damned perfect...

My Blog

this was the satisfaction in the hole you left

it was God's fingerprint.in the end, that's all the mark on Cain was... so, created in His image, i had the swirls of my index finger engraved into my forehead in ink so i could finally walk thru thi...
Posted by on Thu, 05 Feb 2009 05:12:00 GMT

today---

---i got to type on a Hammond.there aren't many things i want to do before i die, and now there is one less.
Posted by on Thu, 18 Sep 2008 21:56:00 GMT

still here

still herethere's a pocket of air in the cathedral of Notre Dame de Parisstill sitting stagnant since its construction673 years agoandthey sayit would take something disastrous to dislodge itit's one ...
Posted by on Tue, 02 Sep 2008 21:41:00 GMT

a dating chronology---

originally wrote this for www.datingisweird.com--- perhaps a dating chronology would be interesting...1. freshman year in high school i had my first girlfriend. we rode the bus together. she was a so...
Posted by on Thu, 07 Aug 2008 06:18:00 GMT

used wrapper removed reminders

i collect condoms.not like those novelty condoms found in dispensers above urinals in the men's rooms of dive bars--- those that specifically say: For Novelty Purposes Only.  those condom dispens...
Posted by on Thu, 31 Jul 2008 07:09:00 GMT

you won’t be missed.

the dead will be catalogued in their online silence--- loved ones leaving near-personal comments of: -You will be missed.... generalities, typed when they first heard or after the wake or when they w...
Posted by on Thu, 17 Jul 2008 01:26:00 GMT

starting over.

i got out of bed early this morning---must have been just before noon when i drove down your street.  drunk.  most of those neighborhood kids were faster than i gave them credit for but your...
Posted by on Thu, 03 Jul 2008 11:43:00 GMT

pyro---

i'm no arsonist, just a pyro--- and these bridges just burn so god. damned. easily.  it's something you've always known about me so i was surprised when you were surprised that i caught our...
Posted by on Sat, 14 Jun 2008 09:48:00 GMT

hardest break-up in the history of mankind---

---that's what she said. and so i retorted. wow---the history of mankind.a big statement; i like big statements. and i don't ask that they be quantified--- often a let down.all the same---hope you co...
Posted by on Thu, 05 Jun 2008 01:23:00 GMT

my high school art teacher always said: Purge. And embrace.

i can vomit on command like a 16 y/o bulimic girl. it's a blessing for a rapidly aging drunk who has avoided alcohol poisoning every time save for four.  excusing myself at a party or a bar to s...
Posted by on Fri, 02 May 2008 01:50:00 GMT