About Me
As a child, I was less than engaging. I just sort of sat there, staring off at nothing. My mother confesses that she once suspected me of having a degree of mental retardation. This was until I sketched my entire room, from the inside of my crib, at the age of three. Then she thought, perhaps I was a genius. Still, I didn’t talk until I was four and even then I could only produce, not words, but single syllable sounds. Uggg…and Grrr…It seemed that I was born anti-social. I wouldn’t allow myself to be held by anyone, including my mother, and I simply refused to be in the company of other children. Between the ages of five and nine, I spent most of my time at an old piano that stood in the living room of my old house. I would just bang on the keys and sing about foolish things, such as balloons and goldfish, or whatever it is that children are partial to.
At roughly the age of thirteen or so, I diagnosed myself with OCD and turrets. It’s easy to diagnose oneself with such conditions when you are constantly arranging objects to be symmetrical and shouting “fuck†for no reason. It was always most comical when the two disorders needed to work together in order for me to satisfy them. Example: In high school, while sitting at my desk, I would sometimes need to perform a process that involved two steps. Although, both steps needed to be performed at once and with careful precision. I would knock on my desk five times and say the word “fucker†with each knock. If my timing was off by a fraction of a millisecond, I would need to begin again. During this time I also developed many phobias, some of which I still have today. For instance, the color purple could make me flee from a room in terror. At the age of fifteen, my house took fire. It was by no accident and I lost many things that were dear to me. I went to live in a house that had no adult supervision. I spent my time with friends, none of which have any value to me today, and I fell in love with someone whom, at the time, I never told. My view on love has always been a negative one. I’m not sure that people were ever meant to experience it. Still, I understand its appeal. Kind of like the way Man was never intended to wear shoes, but the sensation of shopping for them is fantastic.Years passed by, although I don’t remember them.I have allowed myself to indulge in too many of life’s fineries. I have done much traveling, I have made scientific discoveries (very small, but still with some significance), and most importantly, I’ve had my throat cut by a beautiful woman.
