FRANKY by HER BROTHER
FRANKY WAS BORN AUGUST 2 , 1988 IN TRIPOLI, THE CAPITAL OF LIBYA , A COUNTRY IN NORTH AFRICA. (YEP.) THE HOSPITAL WAS VERY HOT AND SMELLY AND THERE WERE MORE FLIES THAN PEOPLE (MOST OF WHO WERE MORE DEAD THAN ALIVE), BUT THE FOOD WAS SURPRISINGLY GOOD. NEWBORN FRANKY LOOKED LIKE A LITTLE ALIEN CHIPMUNK. FRANK SLEPT IN A CARDBOARD BOX FOR THE FIRST SEVERAL MONTHS OF HER LIFE AND SPENT MOST OF HER TIME LAYING ON THE FLOOR CRYING HELPLESSLY WHILE I WOULD KICK HER AROUND AND LAUGH. AS SOON AS SHE COULD WALK, SHE INSTANTLY BECAME ROJEANNE'S SLAVE/LACKEY, AND TOGETHER THEY ROAMED THE MEAN STREETS OF AFRICA TERRORIZING STRAY DOGS AND TWO-YEAR OLD BOYS. THINGS REMAINED THIS WAY FOR OVER TEN YEARS, UNTIL ROJEANNE FIGURED OUT SHE WAS A GIRL AND STARTED PAINTING HER FACE AND FLITTING AROUND L.A. WITH BRITTANY, WHILE FRANK WAS STILL UNDER THE IMPRESSION THAT SHE WAS A LITTLE BOY (YOU MIGHT TOO IF YOU WERE A FEMALE NAMED FRANK), PREFERRING TO SPEND HER SATURDAY NIGHTS (AND MOST OTHER NIGHTS IN GENERAL) PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND GAZING LONGINGLY AT HER KOBE BRYANT CALENDAR. BESIDES, FRANKY WAS A DIFFICULT ONE IN HER YOUNGER DAYS: WAKING UP, SHOWERS AND HER FRIENDS ARE JUST A FEW OF THE THINGS THAT MADE HER SCRUNCH HER EYEBROWS IN DISGUST (IF YOU KNOW HER THEN YOU KNOW THE LOOK). KOBE's RAPE CASE SEEMS TO HAVE BEEN JUST THE JOLT YOUNG FRANK NEEDED TO STEP INTO REALITY, BECAUSE IT IS AROUND THIS TIME THAT SHE STARTED TO SLOWLY COME OUT OF HER SHELL. IT IS ALSO AROUND THIS TIME THAT BOOBS STARTED EXPLODING OUT OF HER CHEST, ASS OUT OF HER BACK, LEGS SHOOTING OUT OF HER LITTLE JEANS. EVEN FRANK WAS A LITTLE SCARED BY HER RAPID TRANSFORMATION. FOR A WHILE WE THOUGHT IT WAS A MATTER OF TIME BEFORE SHE TURNED INTO AN OSTRICH , BUT INSTEAD SHE TURNED INTO A FUNNY, FRIENDLY, GOOD LITTLE GIRL THAT EVERYBODY LOVES. SHE RECENTLY SURPRISED US ALL BY ESCAPING HER LIFE AS HEAD DISHWASHER AT OUR MAMA HOUSE FOR THE CAL STATE NORTHRIDGE CAMPUS DORMS, WHERE SHE IS LEARNING HOW TO DRINK. AND I THINNNNNK HER REAL NAME IS FRANCESCA.
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