GonzoChef profile picture

GonzoChef

Life is too short to cook for you people

About Me


I created my own profile using nUCLEArcENTURy.COM and you should too!Sorry about the shameless promotion by those godless cocksuckers. If you must know, My name is Neal and I am a cook. Not the flipping burgers, would you like fries with that kind, but the kind what makes a life of this. I've cooked my way from Ga to MI and am about to head down to Fla. After that who knows. I keep a bunch of people as pals and drinking buddies but very few friends. It's easier to pick up and leave if there aren't many true friends left behind. Now if you want to know which group you fall into or you have to ask yourself, you're probably not that close to me. only about five or six people per state I've lived in would be considered good friends. I'm not shallow or above anybody, except vegetarians and vegans and militant non-smokers, but I don't let too many people in. Keeps things easy.
TELL ME ABOUT YOURSELF - The Survey
Name: Neal
Birthday: 12-20-1981
Birthplace: Baytown, Tx
Current Location: michigan
Eye Color: green
Hair Color: brown
Height: 5' 10"
Right Handed or Left Handed: right
Your Heritage: Irish, Scottish, Polish, English
The Shoes You Wore Today: Cons
Your Weakness: Blue eyes
Your Fears: lonliness
Your Perfect Pizza: chix, bac, onions
Goal You Would Like To Achieve This Year: Get out of Michigan
Your Most Overused Phrase On an instant messenger: piss off
Thoughts First Waking Up: damn, I need a beer.
Your Best Physical Feature: my eyes
Your Bedtime: sunrise
Your Most Missed Memory: melissa/nicole
Pepsi or Coke: coke with whisky
MacDonalds or Burger King: Coq au Vin
Single or Group Dates: single
Lipton Ice Tea or Nestea: black coffee
Chocolate or Vanilla: vanilla
Cappuccino or Coffee: coffee, black w/ a shot of whisky
Do you Smoke: yes
Do you Swear: what the fuck do you think?
Do you Sing: yes
Do you Shower Daily: yes
Have you Been in Love: yes
Do you want to go to College: I'm in college
Do you want to get Married: not sure
Do you belive in yourself: yes
Do you get Motion Sickness: no
Do you think you are Attractive: yes
Are you a Health Freak: no
Do you get along with your Parents: yes
Do you like Thunderstorms: yes
Do you play an Instrument: yes, guitar and Piano
In the past month have you Drank Alcohol: yes
In the past month have you Smoked: yes
In the past month have you been on Drugs: do prescriptions count?
&..39;In the past month have you gone on a Date:' hell no
In the past month have you gone to a Mall: no
In the past month have you eaten a box of Oreos: no
In the past month have you eaten Sushi: yes
In the past month have you been on Stage: yes
In the past month have you been Dumped: not yet
In the past month have you gone Skinny Dipping: march in michigan, what do you think?
In the past month have you Stolen Anything: no
Ever been Drunk: no, never. I promise.
Ever been called a Tease: yes
Ever been Beaten up: once, but you should've seen the other guy
Ever Shoplifted: yes
How do you want to Die: with no regrets
What do you want to be when you Grow Up: Neal Jayson Justice.
What country would you most like to Visit: France
In a Boy/Girl..
Favourite Eye Color: Blue
Favourite Hair Color: red
Short or Long Hair: depends on the girl
Height: 5' 5"
Weight: 110
Best Clothing Style: jeans, t-shirt
Number of Drugs I have taken: can't remember
Number of CDs I own: can't count that high
Number of Piercings: none
Number of Tattoos: 1
Number of things in my Past I Regret: too many to count, but you all know who you are
CREATE YOUR OWN! - or - GET PAID TO TAKE SURVEYS!

My Interests

Cooking, drinking, writing music, playing chess, chain smoking while reading Hunter Thompson books, trying to take over the world. The usual stuff.

I'd like to meet:

Voltaire, HST, Thomas Keller, Tony Bourdain, Ho Chi Minh, Careme, Hemingway, Frank Miller, Will Eisner. And other fellow lunatics and hellraisers.

Music:

Social D, Bad Religion, GBH, Rancid, Johnny Cash, Willie Nelson, David Allen Coe, Beethoven, Wagner, Vivaldi, Ass Pocket Full of Whisky, BoChinas, SRV, Distillers, Roger Miret and the Disasters, Dropkick Murphys, Lars and the Bastards, Chopin, George Jones, Porter Wagoner, Hank Williams, Robert Johnson, Joe Strummer and the Mescaleros, the Clash, Neil Young, Sonic Death Monkey, Derek and the Dominos, Dylan, Ute Lemper, Cranberries, Allman Bros. Cream, Stones, Beatles, MC5, Stooges, Tom Waits, US Bombs, Last Resort, Marley, Bucaneer, Mad Lion, Sublime. Buffet ( say "Where's the salt" and I'll decapitate your wretched carcass). That's a fair cross section.

Movies:

Casablanca, White Heat, Angels with Dirty Faces, The Magic Christian, Boondock Saints, Big Lebowski, Raising Arizona, Blues Brothers, Animal House, Eat Drink Man Woman, The Million Dollar Hotel, Godfather, Mirror Mask, Star Wars ( the original cuts of the first three), Rosencrantz and Gildenstern are Dead, Monty Python, Messenger, Clerks, Mallrats, Chasing Amy, Dogma, Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back, Pulp Fiction, Dracula, Metropolis, Nosferatu, any far too many more to list.

Television:

Family Guy, Rocko's Modern Life, Ren & Stimpy, Futurama, Tom & Jerry, Looney Tunes, Invader Zim, ATHF, Most other cartoons, no anime. All in the Family, WKRP, SNL, Cosmos, Mythbusters, A Cook's Tour, No Reservations. Any Julia Child show ( fuck you guys, she's great).

Books:

Jesus, this is gonna be a long bloody list. Screw books. We're going for authors. HST, Wolfe, Vonnegut, Jonathan Swift, Paine, Mencken, Bierce, Poe, Shakespeare, Orwell, Terry Moore, Warren Ellis, Dostoyevsky (piss off you can't spell it either), Bendis, Franklin, SunTsu, Plato, Socrates, Careme, Escoffier, Bourdain, Locke, Voltaire, Rousseau, Child, Pepin, Keller, Trotter, Ramsay, Salinger, Twain, Emerson, Sexton, Kerouac, Ginsberg, Kesey, Cassady, Burroughs. More to come.

Heroes:

Hunter S Thompson, Voltaire, Johnny Cash, Tom Paine, Hendrix, Beethoven, Gordon Ramsay, Tony Bourdain, Warren Ellis, Terry Moore, Greg Graffin. Joe Strummer, Ho CHi Minh, Antonin Careme, Dave Sim, Dave Justice, Any one who has stood up in the face of tyranny or for what is good and righteous. Also those who spit in the face of archaic rituals and superstitions. Anyone who wears a Bad Religion shirt in public. Thank you all.

My Blog

Hail to the VIctors!!!!!!

Hail! to the victors valiantHail! to the conqu'ring heroesHail! Hail! to Michiganthe leaders and bestHail! to the victors valiantHail! to the conqu'ring heroesHail! Hail! to Michigan,the champions of ...
Posted by GonzoChef on Sat, 18 Nov 2006 11:31:00 PST

On the Road

Well . . . Neal is finally going home. I didn't last a month in Fl. Fuck this awful place. I'm on my way back to Georgia. It's amazing that I actually call that place home. In '95 when I moved fr...
Posted by GonzoChef on Sun, 20 Aug 2006 07:58:00 PST

Football season is over . . .

Football season is over . . . No More Games. No More Bombs. No More Walking. No More Fun. No More Swimming. 67. That is 17 years past 50. 17 more than I needed or wanted. Boring. I am always bitchy. N...
Posted by GonzoChef on Thu, 27 Jul 2006 08:25:00 PST

FUCK MICHIGAN

I'm in Florida. Finally, I got the hell out of Michigan.
Posted by GonzoChef on Sat, 08 Jul 2006 04:47:00 PST

Bina Bais

Bina Bais is soon. You don't know what that means, but soon you will understand. Maybe even tatoo it on your knuckles. It is of West African in origin and it means, literally, "one day." I used to tel...
Posted by GonzoChef on Tue, 11 Apr 2006 11:28:00 PST

Killing in the Name of Bullshit

Good morning kids. I love the smell of a good rant in the morning. It smells like. . . victory. Today I'm shoving my sanctified boot straight up the ass of Islam. Disclaimer: I have two very good frie...
Posted by GonzoChef on Sat, 08 Apr 2006 03:43:00 PST

Dr. Strangedoctrine or How I learned to not be Afraid and Say "FUCK YOU" to Religion.

I've just been rescued from a whiskey induced slumber and I'm getting angry. I both love and hate this time of day. It's one in the morning and I'm not tired. Bring on the pain. Today's disgrace:...
Posted by GonzoChef on Sat, 08 Apr 2006 03:21:00 PST

Censorship sucks. pt. 1

Hi folks, my name is Neal. And I am the vengeful striking hammer of Justice. I need to get something off my chest and out of my head. I watched a show yesterday about people censoring movies. They buy...
Posted by GonzoChef on Fri, 07 Apr 2006 10:14:00 PST

Where were you when the fun stopped?

"What do you say, for instance, about a generation that has beentaught that rain is poison and sex is death? If making love might be fatal and if a cool spring breeze on any summer afternoon can turn ...
Posted by GonzoChef on Thu, 06 Apr 2006 10:32:00 PST

Bring on the free hooch

So, This is myspace. I've finally caved in and jumped the shark. Next thing you know I'll be on the Hollywood Squares or in an EMO band. Either way, anything worth doing is worth doing right. Bring on...
Posted by GonzoChef on Thu, 06 Apr 2006 09:31:00 PST