Robotron Von 3000 III

I'm deathly afraid of plastic bags.
Other than that, I am a fearless individual and will take you down if not with my jumping skills, my bad gas.
I am capable of jumping over your head because I have such strong legs and years of training with the Lakers. I lift regularly, drink lots of protein shakes, and am on a strict diet.
I know when I breathe I sound like an ogre, but just look at me... clearly I am not an ogre. I am a masterpiece.
I discovered I'm a masterpiece after staring in the mirror for hours. I love looking at myself. I am one hot dog. Oh man hot dogs. Anyway.
After a brief stint in the modeling field, I've recently decided to try to get into film. I've got a sweet hookup with the hbo series they're filming on my street that will be debuting this year, and my ridiculously good looks have created quite the stir in the industry.
Look, you should probably feed me right now, I never get fed, and I'm pretty sure I haven't eaten in weeks.