Warp Factor 9 profile picture

Warp Factor 9

I am here for Friends

About Me



I love to eat small rodents. I enjoy riding my komodo dragon to my job at the Professional Tea Drinker's Convention Hall. I like to collect rare bodily fluids such as blood-tinged bile, shit-tinged spit, and piss-tinged semen. I have two dogs, Lester and Milo, who enjoy playing Go Fish while devouring their own limbs. I also enjoy sticking needles underneath my fingernails with my daughter, Fred.

My Interests

Small animals, the stupidity of humans, sister-fucking, lacerations on the genitals, strappado, disembowelment, homosexual rights, Islamic Extremists, D.I.Y. abortion (clotheshangers), the indisputable tactics of our government in utilizing fear to fight fear and in treating the nation like a flock of stepchildren, the fluid my special parts eject when i make them feel good, thumbscrews, dildo christmas ornaments, armpits, rock n' roll music, excrement, watching girls urinate, mustaches, landmines, communism, drinking alcohol in moderation, the distribution of anti-capitalist propaganda, the insertion of tampons, the scent of a douche, the anatomy of a female human aged 67 years and older, the art of the late Marcy Playground, severed scrotums filled with lima beans, and people who bite their fingernails, and severe brain trauma.

I'd like to meet:

Famous Astronaut Bing Crosby, Mary Poppins, and the great artist and writer Jessica Rodriguez.

Music:

Muhammed Ali and the Gang vs. Tooth Decay, and Blind Lemon Jefferson.

Movies:

The Princess Diaries, Anything Mary-Kate and Ashley Olsen, and the Lord of the Dance.

Television:

What?

Books:

The Needed Extermination of the White Race by Jason Savoy, Fuck Your Sister in 8 Easy Steps by Jason Savoy, How to be a Pop Genius by Joe Revay, Forcing Yourself Upon Anything That Even Slightly Resembles A Vagina by Christopher Roessler, and Breakfast of Champions by Kurt Vonnegut, and just about everything written by Jessica Rodriguez

Heroes:

Jesus Christ, the manufacturers of Hostess snacks.