T profile picture

T

About Me

Nothing. I'm stupid and boring and Myspace is only palateable because Jarvis Cocker posts impossible to find songs on it.

My Interests

Crime. Poop jokes. Guns, the Bible and strong drink, all at once.

I'd like to meet:

Barry Adamson, Jarvis Cocker, Wayne Hussey, Martin Gore, Citizen Cope, Al Jourgensen, Tom Waits, DJ Shadow (he, I suspect, would be boring), Leo Kottke, Solomon Burke, Nick Cave, Morrissey (he'd be rude), Neil Tennant, Frida Kahlo, Richard Stark, Ed McBain, Jim Thompson (too late, fucko), George Romero, Phil Spector, Thor Heyerdahl, Brian Wilson, Aubrey Beardsley, Stuart Murdoch, Frank McCourt, Jimmy Somerville, Sam Peckinpah, Dave Chappelle and whatshisname....

Music:

The Smiths, Pulp, Black Sabbath, Depeche Mode, Circle Jerks, Underworld, Black Flag, Barry Adamson, Cabaret Voltaire, Ronnie & Clyde, Lee "Scratch" Perry, Fear, Joy Division, Tragic Mulatto, Cee-Lo Green the Soul Machine, Gnarls Barkley, Goodie Mob, MF Doom, Jonathan Richman & the Modern Lovers, Luna, Niney the Observer, The Mission UK, Gene Loves Jezebel, Motley Crue, World/Inferno Friendship Society, Pet Shop Boys, TV on the Radio, Citizen Cope, Too $hort, Turn Me On Dead Man, The Hanson Brothers (NOT fucking Hanson), A Certain Ratio, The Jam, Plastic Bertrand, The Damned, James, The Real Kids, The Flaming Stars, The Wailers, New Order, Woody Guthrie, Divine, Slayer, Jurassic 5, Culture Club, Stiff Little Fingers, Isaac Hayes, Geto Boys, Duran Duran, Gallon Drunk, Lard, Magnetic Fields, Wu Tang Clan, Spandau Ballet, King Tubby, Beta Band, Rufus Thomas, 13th Floor Elevators, Blackalicious, Bronski Beat, The Olympics, Otis Redding, Mama Cass, Swans, Dion and the Belmonts, The Mad Professor, Murder City Devils, Turbonegro, Belle & Sebastian, T. Rex, Sam Cooke, Judas Priest, INXS, Patti Smith, Latyrx, New York Dolls, The Housemartins, Iron Maiden, Echo and the Bunnymen, The Beautiful South, Dion and the Belmonts, Electric 6, Marvin Gaye, Captain Beefheart, Current 93, James Brown, Skinny Puppy, Tommy James and the Shondells, The Skatalites, Otis Redding, The 4 Seasons, Howlin' Wolf, The Four Seasons, The Postal Service, Dio, Sam & Dave, Velvet Underground, The Upsetters, Tigerlillies, Son House, The Black Keys, Rocket From the Crypt, Book of Love, Hot Snakes, The Cramps, NOMEANSNO, Bob Wills and his Texas Playboys, Michael Jackson, The Hanson Brothers, The Dwarves, Blind Willie McTell, The Stooges, MC5, KISS, Marvin Gaye, Roxy Music, Bronski Beat, Revolting Cocks, Serge Gainsborough, Billie Holiday, Morphine, Mississippi John Hurt, N.W.A., Tindersticks, Nina Simone, Bobby Darin, Yardbirds, Love and Rockets, Frank Sinatra, Tones on Tail, Nancy Sinatra, Bauhaus, The Animals, Them, Jacques Brel, Suicide, Nina Hagen, Nancy Sinatra, John Zorn, Blind Willie Johnson, Lounge Lizards, The Beach Boys, DJ Qbert, Friends of Dean Martinez, Lyrics Born, Maroons, Fu Manchu, Eartha Kitt, DJ Spooky, WAR, Jazz Butcher, Erik B & Rakim, Luscious Jackson, The Gift of Gab, Dr. Octagon, Spectre, Love, War, Dean Martin, Danzig/The Misfits, The Shins....

Movies:

Oh enough... Eraserhead. Barfly, Pink Flamingoes, Freaks, Barfly, A Clockwork Orange, Touched by an Anal, Raging Bull, Rocky III (Mr. T rules), Time Bandits (well, really, any Terry Gilliam joint), Sin City, Sexy Beast, Chinatown, Never Give an Sucker an Even Break, The Jerk, Baby Doll, Streetcar Named Desire, Jaws...

Television:

I mean it.... well... Lost and X-Files.... and Twilight Zone, vintage. Three's Company-- I used to jerk off thinking about Janet, probably at the same time Mr. Furley was jerking off thinking about Chrissy-- Chappelle Show, Da Ali G Show, Millenium, Outer Limits (again, vintage), Prison Break, Arrested Development, The Sarah Silverman Show, Mr. Show, 24, Twin Peaks, Late Night with David Letterman... I dunno.... old SNL...

Books:

The Hunter, Richard Stark, The Wasteland and Other Poems, T.S. Eliot, Factotum, Chas. Bukowski, The Moving Target, Ross MacDonald, all Lovecraft, all Dostoyevsky (with a few noteable exceptions), Hooker for a Day, Trisha Stevens, all Kafka (except Letters to Felice)... fuck this, I'll just name authors-- Jorge Luis Borges, Knut Hamsun (read "Hunger"), Milan Kundera, Nabakov, Raymond Chandler & Dashiell Hammett of course, Isaac Bashevis Singer, Richard Brautigan, Robertson Davies, Henry Miller, Algernon Charles Swinburne, Henry Miller, Joe R. Lansdale, Oscar Wilde, Edward Abbey, Anatole France, Edgar Allen Poe, William Faulkner, John Steinbeck, Art Spiegelman, the guy who wrote "Firearms Assembly," Raymond Carver, Calvin Trillin, Toni Morrison, Annie Proulx, Charles Willeford, James Crumley, William Burroughs, Mark Twain, Clive Barker, Mario Vargas Llosa, Thomas Pynchon, Dylan Thomas, Robert Burns, Ernest Hemingway, Kurt Vonnegut, Jr., Ray Bradbury, Richard Wright (please read "Native Son"), Damon Runyon, James Thurber, Langston Hughes , e. e. cummings, Dr. Ruth (so CUTE), John Irving, Flannery O'Connor, Lawrence Durrell, J.D. Salinger, Nikolai Gogol, Vatchel Lindsay, W. Somerset Maugham, Isabel Allende, Anton Tchekov, Margaret Millar, Nikolai Machiavelli, Bud Schulberg, Robert Anton Wilson, Philip Jose Farmer, Thomas Wolfe, Hunter S. Thompson, Roald Dahl, Rumi, Eric Ambler, Francois Rabelais, John Fowles, Edith Hamilton, Chaim Potok, P.J. O'Rourke, F. Scott Fitzgerald, John Ridley, James Ellroy, Jack Ketchum, Neil Gaiman, John Muir, Jonathan Swift, Carson McCullers, Chester Himes, Gabriel Garcia Marquez, J.T. Leroy, Philip Roth, Charles Fort, Joseph Heller, Philip K. Dick, Lord Byron, Christopher Isherwood, Plato...

Heroes:

W.C. Fields, Aleister Crowley, Larry Flynt, Elmer Batters, Baron Munchausen, Lucretia Borgia, Jack "I'll take any man in the house" Dempsey, Frank Sinatra, Divine, George Grosz, Lucifer, Jesus, Padre Pio....

My Blog

2

I remember when I found out that my sister was alive and on her way into this world. I'd been at the beach all afternoon and when I got home to 848 Ann Arbor Avenue I rushed into the house to hug my m...
Posted by T on Sat, 26 Apr 2008 05:53:00 PST

1

I remember how it all began. I took first place in the Ventura County Baby Beauty contest and appeared in a commercial for dog food. Believe it or not, I was a lovely child, and I had the advantage ov...
Posted by T on Thu, 24 Apr 2008 05:08:00 PST

scared and confused

I cannot convince myself. friends, spoons and homes. I needa do something and I mean now. I wake up feeling? who but myself to blame? you know. solamente eso. just me. homies, advise me. please?
Posted by T on Fri, 11 Apr 2008 03:49:00 PST

A Tiny Kindness

People have been coming to my house at night and throwing rocks through my windows. Weird, huh? Why? This morning I woke up like every morning, and, like every morning, I wanted a drink. Today is Sund...
Posted by T on Sun, 24 Feb 2008 12:43:00 PST

The Death of Piracy

And as the gales winds tore at the sails and the timbers twisted, shrieking and unlimbering their nails we held one another and cried out to that unseeing deity who would ne'er us see nor e'er would w...
Posted by T on Wed, 26 Sep 2007 02:18:00 PST

Shut up out there! (pure shit)

hey hey.....just saving this shit-eating bulletin- there are a couple of valuable lines in it. I do not recommend reading it; it's (as the subject line clearly states) pure shit.Do you smoke weed regu...
Posted by T on Wed, 19 Sep 2007 12:43:00 PST

just something tiny...

if there was a god(I know, I know, it should be were and god should be capitalized, fuck you, you nit-pickers)up in heaven, all full of powerhe would have or should have stopped my childhood best frie...
Posted by T on Tue, 18 Sep 2007 04:15:00 PST

More cap crap from late at night

I left homeI lit out alonetotally stonedput a bone through my nosedidn't know where I was goin'just knew there were rocks to be thrownand the back of a strawberry roanto get thrown fromprolly do it ag...
Posted by T on Tue, 11 Sep 2007 05:52:00 PST

Sneaker rap battle in the hizzz

old sneakers never seem to doall that they promise when they newtake you round cornerslike Zeus and Apollo and Adonis doand all you get is made fun of at schoolnew sneakersno matter how cheapmake you ...
Posted by T on Fri, 31 Aug 2007 12:06:00 PST

Wack rap battle is N.

accidentally bulletined this while I was drunk... blah blah blah....so you think you need a little re-fashionin'? I assume so, judging by your rappingmaybe it's time for mommy to but the pacifier inan...
Posted by T on Wed, 29 Aug 2007 01:22:00 PST