Denise Richards

WARNING: By reading the following, naked cats will eat your babies!
For each a road For everyman a religionFind everybody and rule For everything and rumble Forget everything and remember For everything a reason Forgive everybody and rememberFor each a road For everyman a religion Face everybody and rule For everything and rumble Forget everything and remember For everything a reasonYou got the fearFinal eternity arouses reactions Freeing excellence affects reality Fallen empires are ruling Find earth and reefFantastic expectations Amazing revelations Final execution and resurrection Free expression as revolution Finding everything and realizingYou got the fear(Fantastic expectations Amazing revelations Finding everything and realizing For everything a reason)F.E.A.R. (You got the fear)
Hello there! I'm a 12 foot Asian unicyclist from North Tottenham.
I enjoy pizza, bus stops, caravans, teeth, the Irish, a man called November, tea cakes, The Wesley, Harry Potter postcards, The Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles and murder, murder murder, murder murder murder murder and fluffy little bunnies.
I hate war, peace, love, hate, unicycles and toast.
I won't say much more, I'll just give you my life story.
I was born very young, by a mother who has come to know me as her son.
From the age of 1 I was taught, and had an NVQ in, how to keep unicycles clean (I was advanced for my age, already at a level 2!) At this point I was still wearing nappies, however, as I would poop myself every few minutes.
By the age of 3 and one fifth I got my very own unicycle, which I burned. My parents chipped in, one eighth each, to buy me another one. I pissed on this one and then burned it. After which my grandparents ate some pie, then decided to help buy me a new model. I pissed, burned and cursed this one.
By the age of five everyone had convinced me it was time to start unicycling, this is how I grew fond of murder.
I believe it was a Sunday when I decided to nail my hands to my skateboard. Yes it was.
Following a brief career in Hollyoaks and eating washing powder, I moved to Hawaii, where I met my one true love. She died and I floated back to Tottenham on the back of a stamp. It had already been licked. All the way home I touched myself repeatedly, but with my left hand.
A little bit of crack, and a bottle of rum later, I was promoted to Captain of the Sea by the nice man who dances. This led me to an interesting career moving bits of fluff around, and smiling at curbs.
My career was put on-hold when the unicycle found me in bed with a tricycle. It was a hard time for us all, mainly the child who owned the tricycle.
I lika do da cha cha.
Anyway, after that I was 16, where I left school and became a travelling lightbulb salesman.
Basically I was raped by a monkey so I though I'd get a MySpace and tell everyone.
If you would like to touch my monkey, please apply in writing by the end of September of any year you can immediately think of.
Support the Allied troops. They are out there risking their lives for people who can't save themselves, and all they ask in return is a bit of respect.
What did you do today to improve the lives of someone you never met?