The Party Army Third Brigade is an elite unit of soldiers highly trained to covertly infiltrate and participate in house party battles. We are professional soldiers defending fun for the citizens of Vancouver, not to be confused with amateur frat-house hooligans. On occasion, select art opening parties and other social functions may justify the use of the Army's special skills and training.BATTLE SCORES
Battle scores from 0 to 5.0 are determined using the following hype criteria:* Ambience / Space
* Food/Booze Quotient
* Quality of Conversation
* Hype Crowd
* Hotness of People Factor
* Themes (and percentage of participation)
* Critical Mass
* Music/Dance Floor
* Duration
* Debauchery
* Police Presence
* Make Out ActionA BRIEF HISTORY OF THE PARTY ARMY
Party Army 1st Brigade: Mid 1990s
UBC grad students migrate from the Beer Gardens to the East Side for rations of free food and booze. Soldiers often stop to jump start their aging attack vehicle, a 1969 Plymouth Valiant with large gaps in the floorboard.Party Army 2nd Brigade: Late 1990s
Warfare escalates Soldiers partake in hardcore training, involving copious amounts of booze, drum 'n' bass and other substances, leaving some soldiers to take medical leave.
Party Army 3rd Brigade: Early 21st CenturyThe Party Army abandons morse code and voice mail and moves to an online communications system.An embedded reporter accompanies the Party Army on a memorable mission. Read his report.The Party Army, along with several hundred others, witness a group of maniacal punks burn down a house, which is slated for demolition. A billion riot cops swarm on the scene and make arrests. The next night someone returns to the scene and burns down the other two houses.TV reports say the now famous housewrecker party was "advertised on the internet" and flashes the Party Army site. Web traffic spikes as people check out the riot pictures.PA Affiliates plan a rocking musical peaceful Hallowe'en Party. The cops pay a visit to the house and tell the owner the event was advertised on partyarmy.ca as a "homewrecker". The police contact Commander Sarah X for information. She tells the officer the Party Army is about loving not fighting. The party is cancelled.Realizing the Party Army security had been breached, the troops instantly pull down the website and the movement goes underground. New security measures are put into effect.Party Army 3nd Brigade: April 2005
After several months of high security and laying low, troops emerge from the underground, armed with their new theme song and a core of troops ready to engage in heavy battle once again.
