Self-Induced Coma

R.I.P Brent (my Puma)
I am 28, Female and I live in Southern California. I am a graphic designer and freehand artist, I am also a writer. I am always listening to music of some sort, because it soothes my mind and soul and allows me to concentrate better. I love to read also. I have a 9 year old daughter named Raine and she is my diamond. I am always interested in technology, even used to be a hacker (ethical) but gave that up after awhile. I suffer from bipolar disorder and I'm a paranoid Schizophrenic. I used to self-mutilate, but haven't done that in a long time thankfully.
I love body art and the feel of the needle on my skin... I'm really dark minded and hearted. Many people associate me as being Goth, I don't like to classify myself, but I can see why they do. I'm the type of person who loves to go to the cemetery just to have a good cry... I love the rain and I am forever a hopeless romantic... perhaps someday I will find him... maybe I have and I've missed my chance... or he could be right in front of me and I'm none the wiser... (I have found him finally.), all I know is that I have a heart full of love, but is extremely fragile from many previous mishandles... but it will always have love for my daughter, my true friends, my brother, and for he holds it now.
Well... if you want to know anymore about me... just ask, I'm very open.
..-Petra/Rene/evOlve
Contact me on .. Vapid Delusions -aim (rarely on)-
Heh... This is me in a nutshell :o
Disorder Rating
Paranoid : Very High
Schizoid : High
Schizotypal : Very High
Antisocial : High
Borderline : Very High
Histrionic : High
Narcissistic : Moderate
Avoidant : Very High
Dependent : Very High
Obsessive-Compulsive : High
-- Personality Disorder Test --
-- Personality Disorder Information --
You are Ghost.
Poppy Z. Brite Quiz - Which Lost Souls Character Are You?
brought to you by Quizilla
My sites:
www.freewebs.com/evolve2k3/ My Juggalo Site
www.freewebs.com/evolves_gallery/ My Personal Art Gallery
www.tagworld.com/evolve Another Site showing my newer artwork
TELL ME ABOUT YOURSELF - The Survey
Name: Petra or Rene
Birthday: July 13th, '78
Birthplace: Denver, Co
Current Location: Adelanto, Ca
Eye Color: Dark Brown
Hair Color: Redish Black
Height: 5'4
Right Handed or Left Handed: Right
Your Heritage: Scotish/A. Indian/Spanish
The Shoes You Wore Today: Slippers :o
Your Weakness: Love and those in need
Your Fears: Dying alone and abandonment
Your Perfect Pizza: Mmm. Extra Cheese 'n Pinapple :p
Goal You Would Like To Achieve This Year: Not giving up...
Your Most Overused Phrase On an instant messenger: LOL
Thoughts First Waking Up: Where am I? o.o
Your Best Physical Feature: Eyes
Your Bedtime: There is such a thing?
Your Most Missed Memory: My best-friend Tim & I, summer '02.
Pepsi or Coke: Either or, matters not.. caffine
MacDonalds or Burger King: Del Taco?
Single or Group Dates: Single
Lipton Ice Tea or Nestea: Sun Tea :]
Chocolate or Vanilla: Coffee :x
Cappuccino or Coffee: Cappuccino
Do you Smoke: Yes
Do you Swear: Eh... LOL of course! :o
Do you Sing: To myself, yes.
Do you Shower Daily: Yes.. unless I am locked in the closet :/
Have you Been in Love: Indeed.. and am.
Do you want to go to College: Have
Do you want to get Married: Have... perhaps again someday
Do you belive in yourself: In some aspects yes, some.. no.
Do you get Motion Sickness: Once in a while.
Do you think you are Attractive: I'm told I am, but I don't see it.. lol
Are you a Health Freak: Current Diet: Mt. Dew & Cigarettes... so .. no? :)
Do you get along with your Parents: ... I try to? I
Do you like Thunderstorms: I revel in them
Do you play an Instrument: Used to, a little piano still
In the past month have you Drank Alcohol: Nope, sober 1 year Feb. 14th
In the past month have you Smoked: Yes, cigarettes /
In the past month have you been on Drugs: Prescribed.. meh
In the past month have you gone on a Date: Vday singles crew causing havoc :o
In the past month have you gone to a Mall: Nope
In the past month have you eaten a box of Oreos: Nope :/
In the past month have you eaten Sushi: eh.. no sushi at all ever :l
In the past month have you been on Stage: Nope
In the past month have you been Dumped: Nope
In the past month have you gone Skinny Dipping: "LOL" I'd scare the fish :/
In the past month have you Stolen Anything: Yes, a piece of pizza! :o
Ever been Drunk: Heh... more then I care to recall
Ever been called a Tease: Yea, but in a playful way.
Ever been Beaten up: :/ yes... by a man
Ever Shoplifted: Rebelion in my teens, go figure ;p
How do you want to Die: In my sleep
What do you want to be when you Grow Up: 1 r t3h 6r0wn up!1one1! haha, a artist of course
What country would you most like to Visit: Scotland & Italy
In a Boy/Girl..
Favourite Eye Color: Brown/Hazel
Favourite Hair Color: Brown/Black
Short or Long Hair: No matter, so long's it clean ;p
Height: Not shorter then 5'5, cause I'm 5'4 lol
Weight: No matter, but teddybears are nice I think :shrug:
Best Clothing Style: Comftorable, not cliche or cliquesh
Number of Drugs I have taken: 3 different ones :/
Number of CDs I own: Estimated guess... 400+ :o
Number of Piercings: Ears & eyebrow
Number of Tattoos: 7
Number of things in my Past I Regret: Everytime someone turned their back to me...
Addictions Mission Objective:
black roses,
black thorns,
bleed black but never mourn,
from sanity torn
to the fires of your own hell you're thrown,
all that loved you they now disown,
but it seems this is all you've ever known
for despise, nay love, from you is now only shown.
a single prick from it innocently
seemingly...
starting the poison coursing silently
through the veins and vitality of your body
through your sanity...
it will not let you ever again be free
it will blind you to the up most degree
to mask its hidden true entity
you will begin to slowly crumble
all your defenses once stood proud, now humble
it's method is proven destructable
to take coherent thought and make it undecipherable
to make disbelief, fathomable
to slowly and completely steal your control
nothing you can do but accept and know...
that this is your reality now, let your bitter tears ensue
and flow.
sanity rationality and reality now at total disassemble
as madness now has reign and is the substance truly and alone viable
to function in a world now seen in a warped veil of misconstrue
to think back now, would it be any different if you had then knew
that this drug that rampages a new and unwanted course through you
was to be the ultimate demise in which you can now not undo
the damage it has caused and the destruction it has ultimately shown true.
would you then, had you known... let it enter your body willingly seeing now what it would do?
-Petra Rene Baker-