MIKE D profile picture

MIKE D

miked823

About Me

i like waking up in the morning(always a plus), enjoying a couple(dozen) beers after work, ridin my motorcycle(street or dirt), and going to sleep! football season should be all year long! i think i like nascar way more than i should. at first it was just a filler for inbetween football seasons. now i look forward to it each weekend. i like to think of ways to get rich and never following through with it! i should be a millionaire by now.

My Interests

drinkin brews with anyone, anything with two wheels and a motor, if its fast i will ride it. good friends equal good times. drinkin kicks ass!

I'd like to meet:

johnny depp(niggas a monster), augustus busch(makes the best beer), whoever invented the thong(i would like to shake his hand), dave chappelle(nough said), trey parker and matt stone(to find out how they come up with the shit they come up with), grim reaper(i think i can take him), dave attell(go on the insomniac tour with him)

Music:

whatever puts me in the mood i want to be in...... primer 55, rage against the machine, deftones, pantera, chevelle, slipknot, tool, a perfect circle, sublime, long beach dub allstars, long beach shortbus, silverchair, beastie boys, any old school hip hop, dilated peoples, handsome boy modeling school, hum, ben lee

Movies:

predator, tombstone, clerks, the godfather(just 1 and 2), search for animal chin, green street hooligans, boondock saints, way of the gun, donnie fuckin broscoe, not another teen movie, true romance, super troopers, office space, grandmas boy, harold and kumar, heat, smokey and the bandit, troy, ford fairlane, friday, and the list goes on

Television:

espn, spike tv, fuel, discovery, comedy central and speed. and pay per view when UFC is on. all other stations suck. if they had a channel where you could watch people drink beer all day i would watch it.

Books:

Reading is for trick ass ho's.

Heroes:

I'm better than everyone. I kick ass at everything. The other day, someone cut me off on the beltway, so I sped up beside him and I rammed him off the road. Nobody is as good as I am.Some people think I'm conceited. Being conceited is a flaw in character. I have no flaws. So there wrong!All my friends think I'm better than they are. Sometimes my friends ask "so how come you rule so much?"One time I decided to play basketball, but I suck at basketball so I lost. Just kidding, I kicked everyone's ass because I'm the best.I own everyone at everything. There's no use in trying to be as good as me because it's impossible. There aren't enough words to describe how good I am.THE UNIVERSE REVOLVES AROUND ME. I AM KING. Everyone wishes they were me. EVERYONE.If I weren't me, I'd wish I was.I love me.

My Blog

ADD is bullshit

Attention Deficit Disorder is bullshit and anyone that "has it" should be shot. You have a kid that misbehaves? Smack the little shit up side the head and tell him to shut up. I'm tired of all these p...
Posted by MIKE D on Wed, 12 Sep 2007 06:18:00 PST

NEED YOUR ASS KICKED???

  I will kick your ass. I thought of a way to make a little extra money the other day. So being the ass kicking super hero that I am, I've decided to start a new service on this site: I will...
Posted by MIKE D on Fri, 06 Jul 2007 04:11:00 PST

BEAT YOUR KIDS!!!!

How come everyone today is too much of a pussy to smack their kids around? That's what I want to know: why are parents afraid to beat their kids? When I was a kid and I screwed up, my parents beat my ...
Posted by MIKE D on Wed, 04 Oct 2006 09:00:00 PST

how to be lazy

Laziness is the key to success. Here are the rules of being lazy: 1. Never do anything. If you wait around long enough, someone else will do it. 2. Don't move. Moving is overrated. 3. Never run....
Posted by MIKE D on Sun, 30 Jul 2006 07:36:00 PST

FARTING........

Attention women: until your farts start smelling like cinnamon buns, quit bitching. I'm tired of women bitching when guys fart. Farting around a woman is like listening to a radio permanently stuck o...
Posted by MIKE D on Sat, 03 Jun 2006 03:13:00 PST

animal rights? fuck um! PETA = People Eating Tasty Animals

  What do the following animals have in common? Whales - Elephants - Lions - Gorillas - Pandas - Cheetahs - Leopards - Seals - Dolphins - Black Rhinoceros - Bald Eagles - Turtles - Polar Bears ...
Posted by MIKE D on Mon, 24 Apr 2006 09:01:00 PST

JOKES TO PLAY ON PEOPLE IN THE HOSPITAL

    Know someone in the hospital? Do they seem low in spirit and depressed? Why not try some of these pranks to cheer them up?! 1 Go up to someone on life support and distract them. Talk...
Posted by MIKE D on Sun, 16 Apr 2006 07:57:00 PST