Jordan profile picture

Jordan

the grass aint greener, the wine aint sweeter, either side of the hill

About Me

Hi. My name is Jordan and I am from Rogers Arkansas. I like to think that i am a pretty unique fellow. I like things that make you cringe. I probably despise the things that make your world go round. I definitely do not approve of any form of racism, biggotry or any other form of insecurititus. I do typical eclectic things to bide my time. I play the guitar, banjo, bass, mandolin, sitar, drums/percussions, flute, dobro, hell, you name it, i can probably produce some pleasant noise with it. "Music is my life". My 2nd love is traveling the world. I'm looking around for gameful employment overseas, think i may have scored with Halliburton. My next venture will hopefully see me conquering Southern Asia somewhere, maybe before ole Halli' destroys it all. i also like caucasions(the drink, me no like white man) i also enjoy many things outdoors. spelunking, canoeing, climbing trees, and jumping off of tall shit all strike my fancy.join this group - http://groups.myspace.com/RobertParks

My Interests

Simultaneously damaging brain cells and hearing, traveling, fishing, improv

I'd like to meet:

get ready. Anyone with enough time on their hands to share their stories, significant or not, to aid in the expansion of my horizons and all that hippie shit. Original folks. Funny folks. Entertaining folks. People of foreign cultures, people like myself who enjoy adopting foreign cultures into their lives. Anyone who can handle anywhere near as spicy of food as i like. Any open-minded cats who dig good jazz, jambands, bluegrass, good punk rock, lots o' avantgarde stuff, funk, and most prog rock. Now, pesonally, I'd love to meet all 4(5?) original members of Pink Floyd(Syd Barret RIP), ALL members of King Crimson, TOOL, Primus(met Claypool once), Buckethead, Angelo Badalamenti and cool thing is, I know lots of my other heroes, Mike Dillon, Skerik, Brian Haas(JAzz phenoms), umphreys mcgee, galactic, JFJO. vigilance will get you anything, unless it just doesn't for some odd reason... Non-musicians i'd like to meet would be Noam Chomskey, Kurt Vonnegut, the Dali Lama, Charles Manson (oh, you know that shit would be interesting as hell), David Cross(FUnny dude), Bill Hicks(even funnier, but dead), Red Foxx, David Lynch(genius of filmmaking/surreal artist), Tommy Chong(although he is a badass musician as well), Jet Li(quite the amazing martial artist/stuntman/actor. anyone who is, or has ever been a Chicago Cub, or who is a true Chicago Cubs fan. crazy old bums with great stories, a few crazy young ones on occasion, the Japanese prodigies who wrote the music for the original Mario. tweeker chefs at Waffle House who can spit out nihlistic philosophies at you all night long as you enjoy your eggs and bacon, Steve-O, Johnny Knoxville, and Chris Pontius(my favorite jackasses), Gary Busey(he's just so damn crazy), a Goddam Mongolian, Wanderley Silva & Feyodor Emilianenko(the toughest mofos in the MMA universe), someone with the secret to never having to work, Bill Clinton, Fidel Castro, nobody else, all the rest of you leave me alone.

Music:

here goesPink Floyd, The Grateful Dead, Primus, Les Claypool, Frog Brigade, Sausage, C2B3, Holy Mackerel, Oysterhead, King Crimson, Robert Fripp, Critters Buggin, Mike Dillon, SKERIK, Brad Houser, Matt Chamberlain, Neil Young, Radiohead, Jerry Garcia, TOOL, Built to Spill, Mahavishnu Orchestra, Miles Davis, Modest Mouse, Bad Religion, BUCKETHEAD, ween, Jaco Pastorious, the Dead KEnny Gs, Frank Zappa, Shpongle, Umphreys Mcgee, Split Lip Rayfield, the Doors, Blind Melon, Garage a Trois, Pavement, Beck, Morphine, Portishead, GAraj MAhal, Mingus, Thelonius Monk, John Coltrane, Frederic Chopin, Bach, the Flaming Lips, the Meters, George Clinton and Parliament, PHISH, Disco Biscuits, Bootsie Collins, Bernie Worrell, Angelo Badalamenti, Massive Attack, wilco, Billy Goat, Galactic, Smashing Pumpkins, Alice in Chains, the Beatles, John Lennon, George Harrison, Captain Beefheart, Led Zeppelin, Black Sabbath, Operation Ivy, Adrien Belew, Jacob Fred JAzz ODyssey, Hairy Apes BMX, The MAlachy PApers, john Mclaughlin, rage against the machine, the Deftones, Sublime, Praxis, p-funk, Lou Reed, David Bowie, Dylan, Stevie Wonder, Red Hot Chili Peppers, Alice in Chains, Aquarium Rescue Unit, Blue Cheer, Mr. Bungle, JJ Cale, Muse, the Velvet Underground, the Violent femmes, the Pixies, Jimi Hendrix, The Benevento/Russo Duo, Ugly Casanova, My Morning Jacket, Keller Williams, moe., Tortoise, CSNY, John Prine, Willie Nelson, Steve Winwood, Yonder Mountain String Band, Butthole Surfers, Cake, Brian Jonestown Massacre, Rolling Stones, gogol bordello, white zombie, Cornbugs, Infected Mushroom, Aphex Twin, Amish Rake Fight, Medeski Martin and Wood, Soulfly, Godspeed You Black Emperor, Soulive, Flipoff Pirates, the Slip, minkus finkus, the ills, Bedouin Beat,

Movies:

the Big Lebowski, Where the Buffalo Roam, Fear and Loathing, Blue Velvet, Mullholland Drive, Lost Highway, Taxi Driver, Dead Man, Clash of the Titans, Coolhand Luke, Dr. Strangelove(how i learned to stop worrying and love the bomb), the Wall, Pink Floyd: Live in Pompei, Oh Brother W.A.T., Run Ronnie Run, Trainspotting, Children of Men, the Godfather trilogy, Goodfellas, Full Metal Jacket, Apocalypse Now, American Beauty, American Psycho, Snatch, Deer Hunter, Raging Bull, kung fu(the classics), Hero, Crouching Tiger, Fists of Fury, and anything Wes Anderson, Life Aquatic, Royal Tenenbaums, Bottle Rocket, House of 1000 corpses and Devils Rejects - Zombie is the mad note!!, Texas Chainsaw Massacre(all of em, #2 is funny as hell, and the remake's' are great, too), Romero is also a GOD. I love zombie flicks like Dawn, Shawn, and Day of the Dead. The Hills Have Eyes, Wrong Turn, Fight Club, Super Troopers, Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back, Clerks(1&2), anything Smith, the Gods Must Be Crazy(1&2), Electric Apricot (the quest for Festeroo), although he's extremely radical, i enjoy the final product of a Michael Moore documentary, Bowling for Columbine was way better than Farenheit 9/11, Milo and Otis, Usual Suspects, Dazed and Confused, Labyrinth(i know), Frank Zappa's 200 Motels, Blazing Saddles, History of the World, and the Sandlot. there.

Television:

Sanford and Son, South Park, and Doug. but, Blow yours up.
favorite band/solo artist critters buggin
eye color shit brown
crack or herion heroin, be the death of me
gay or straight sraight, but frank zappa makes me think twice
favorite food beer
places to shop drug dealers, guitar dealers, trying to start business that does both, called "Jimbo's Guitars and Emotion Scars"
wine or beer beer, although a good red kicks ass, too

CREATE YOUR OWN! - or - GET PAID TO TAKE SURVEYS!

Books:

Slaughterhouse Five, Cats Cradle, Hocus Pocus- Kurt Vonnegut-RIP-(very funny fellow); Dharma Bums, Big Sur, and On the road- Jack Kerouac; Siddhartha - Herman Hesse; Everything by Carl Hiaasen; Catch 22 by Joseph Heller, One Flew Over the Cukoos Nest - Ken Kessey; Hells Angels, Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas, the Rum Diaries - Hunter S Thompson; South of the Pumphouse - Les Claypool(havent read yet, but had to list!!); ummm. Ishmael, Story of B, Eastern Philosphies for the Western Mind, World Religions, and Where's Waldo in Europe.

Heroes:

in no particular order: Rob Parks, Bubba Love, Sean Morris, Big Merty. A fellow named Wayne MAthis, the devil, Mike Dillon, Skerik, Jerry Garcia, Johnny muthafuckin Cash, Frank Zappa, those who put their necks on the line to grow us fine nuggets. Everyone who identifies the lies of our leaders - Zack de la Rocha, Noam Chomskey, etc., or isn't scared of the truth. Those who consistantly stand up for what they believe in, especially when they believe in the better good or peace - John Lennon, Ghandi, etc. Pa, Ma, bro, sis. Veterans. Mario and Luigi. Hef. Rodney King. Cookie Monster. and all of those other fatal abstractions we've failed to mention, we're nice lads, we love you all. OH YEAH, THE CHICAGO CUBS!!!!! GO CUBBIES!!!!!

My Blog

we thougt it was leprosy, but it was just a bad case of the mange

i'm going to write you a poem:    Movin to California, gonna marry me a Vegan, gonna drink like fish and party like heathens.  Having never ever even been in a bout, she'll divorc...
Posted by Jordan on Sat, 27 Jan 2007 10:52:00 PST

6 billion man suicide

so, call me a striving sociologist, call me a wonderer, hell, call me Al, but can anyone offer me a reasonable explanation, other than the ego, id, etc., as to why we human beings deem ...
Posted by Jordan on Mon, 05 Mar 2007 07:09:00 PST

dead people suck

so i hate dead people, because people like kirk from split lip rayfieldcan die.   i've lost way more, way closer people to me, but they couldnt create art that made such a difference to me.&...
Posted by Jordan on Fri, 23 Feb 2007 11:02:00 PST

peruvian gongs

so i have decided a few things.  first, i have a new hobby.  i am going to start making big, loud, spineshaking gongs.  yes gongs, and if you are lucky, i will make you one.  i wil...
Posted by Jordan on Sat, 27 Jan 2007 10:22:00 PST

Off We Go

so i woke up today with a sudden urge to do something out of my all too spontaneous routine, and decided to go to god's house.  while we hadnt been seeing eye to eye the past few years, i was uns...
Posted by Jordan on Tue, 07 Nov 2006 09:23:00 PST

how many neurons would a moron fuck if a moron could fuck neurons?

so i'm getting older, my vices grow tighter, and i like shit grittier, yet i still have a spoonful of a conscience.  everything adds up to one thing,  we all strive for the same insignifican...
Posted by Jordan on Wed, 13 Sep 2006 11:11:00 PST

Alcohol vs. a Reality Check

so i'm about to turn the big 21. yes, i'll finally get the priveledge of drinking legally, and to be honest, i'm pretty disappointed. First off, the thrill will be lost. I mean, everyone enjoys the ri...
Posted by Jordan on Sun, 07 May 2006 01:56:00 PST

i want to conquer the world, give all the idiots a brand new religion

this is a punk rock song by bad religion.  this man is a genius, everyone should read.Hey Brother Christian with your high and might errand, Your actions speak so loud, I cant hear a word y...
Posted by Jordan on Mon, 10 Apr 2006 09:56:00 PST

its the end of the world as we know it, mushrooms told me so

has anyone here ever ingested psychedelics of any kind and made the mistake of watching the headline news?  Well, I have, too many times.  And after so much of this "reality" being pumped in...
Posted by Jordan on Wed, 29 Mar 2006 05:35:00 PST