I know this may sound like an emo girls fake cry for help. But to be honest with you...It's an honest girls cry for help. I dont know what it is, but right now my life seems to be heading nowhere. I've tried and I've tried to make things right. But everywhere I go I get turned away. No matter how much effort I put into it. For the past month I've I had to fight myself to get out of bed. I'm force feeding myself when I'm never hungry anymore. Some of the time I'm so depressed that I just dont even want to shower. Disgusting I know, but true. Don't worry I do bathe on a normal bases just at odd hours of the night when I can't sleep. I'm always tired but i cant never fall asleep and when it comes time to get out of the bed and start a new day I just lay there and think until about 3 or 4 in the afternoon. I've been so depressed. And I really want help and people I'm even willing to pay to help me just turn me away. I dont want to end up a person who is so down and so looked over that I go insane and end up in psychiatric wards or mental hospitals. I want to be happy again. Now that I think about it... I dont really know if i was happy to begin with. Parents constantly arguing about my dad cheating on my mom, and other shit like that. Me cutting my arms when I was only in middle school thru 9th grade. Yelling at my parents when they didnt do anything wrong. I mean I'm not suicidal anymore b/c that's stupid, but sometime I think what if I did let it go just a little deeper. I've tried all kinds of things to help me like meditate, write my thoughts in a journal, go to therapists. I would say meds but they say i dont need them. When most of the time they never listened to me. I've even became bulemic thinking that maybe if I was thinner I'd feel happier. Not b/c i thought i was fat or b/c I wanted to impress people, but to see if what people say about being thin is true....you feel better. I know I have true friends out there somewhere who really care about me and want to help me. Please Help Me. I need you guys so much right now. I dont know what else to do. All I want to do is say that I'm truely happy for once.
The kind of people I'd like to meet dont have to be exactly like me, (That would be weird), but people who aren't two face like people in burlington. People who are pussies and cant confront you to your face and fix your problems that have to act like kindergardeners and play telephone with the whole damn town until it gets back around and by that point the whole story has been changed around into some stupid ass lie. If you fucking people wanna say something to be say to my face! Not my myspace, not on instant messangers but MY FACE! We'll fix the problem whether it's by sitting down and talking or whether it fight I dont care! As long as you confront me! Not other bitches whose nose dont even need to be in my fucking business...BURLINGTON PEEPS FROM THE MALL AND CITY PARK CAN ALL KISS MY FUCKING ASS! And if any of you wanna come up to me and tell me to say it to your face, I will b/c i'm not a fucking pussy.
TITANIC! THUMBTANIC! sean of the dead, zombie movies, other horror movies. gang movies. a little bit of everything.
almost everything from adult swim. king of the hill, anime. porn. gotta have the porn. yup
Dog witch, Tarot Cafe and more.
my mom, my foster mom. my best friends.