Classic Will

The tale of Classic Will's love of good dance music is a long and tedious one. So here's the short, kick-ass version.Will is the type of person that would use your tooth brush without asking. Among other things, Will has an extensive police record. Will has also been known to get random children in headlocks at "The Green Burrito". But these were just moderately annoying personality quirks. His real problem, the dilema that was killing him and everyone he loved, was his taste in music. He was a prisoner to the sound of one band and would listen to no other. And that band was The Spin Doctors. A slave was he, so he turned to drugs. He focused hard on his constant drug abuse, and soon everything became clear. He claims to have achieved "enlightenment" one night after injesting an ungodly ammount of exstacy with a one-legged prostitute in a bowling alley. (The claim has been refuted, where-as he only bowled a 42 and was ejected from the premises for lewd behavior) But whatever the misdemeanor, this is when Will's love for music was born. With his newly found passion, and facial tick, he immediately set out to experience music from every part of the world. From pubs in Ireland, to opium dens of Asia, to the weed spots on Sunset blvd, he absorbed music of all cultures on many levels of consiousness that would make the average man shit himself.In his zest for the constant party though, there were sacrifices along the way. While raving in Khazakstan, many unfortunate souls were maimed or killed when the poorly planned event was inenvertantly set up on a mine field. At another venue outside Tibet, a blizzard caused a premature end to the fun, leaving Will and a group of ravers standed for more than 3 days. They were all rescued safely, but unfortunately to survive, they were forced to eat their sherpa.On returning to the states having completed his quest, Will knew it was time to let the musical fornication begin. He set up a memorial to those who had lost their lives along the way, and named his goldfish Took-Took, after the ill-fated, yet delicious sherpa. The timing was right. So after hitting the corner for a $20 hummer, he knew it was time to zip up and make dance music. So enjoy the tunes. The only thing Will asks for in return is a beer.......and your sister.