"Over here, for example, is the old white clapboard house they used to live in, and behind it, back a ways, is the radio tower of station KORE with a red light blinking on top--and at night he used to get down on his knees to say his prayers and there would be the sky and the light blinking--and he always kind of thought he was praying to that red light."
- Tom Wolfe, "The Electric Kool-Aid Acid Test"

"Who am I? I am the Hillary Clinton who told Bill to fuck himself and still got to be president. I'm the Princess Di who married that Muslim. I'm the Laura Bush WHO HAS A LOT TO SAY. Like Condi Rice, I am smiling at you. Not one inch of this fucking rage leaks through. Here's the scary news -- there are millions of us. We serve your tea. We hand out peanuts on your planes. We wipe your ass. We shred your documents. Call me a bitch. It doesn't matter, I like the name. Bitch. Bitchbitchbitch!"
- Eve Ensler, "The Good Body"

Hello. I'm Marianne.

I'm short. I'm half-Asian. I'm sarcastic. I'll fuck you up.
If you are completely ridiculous, then I will befriend you immediately.
I like phone calls in the early hours of the morning, depending on who is on the other end. If I'm inebriated and my phone is near me, then you're probably going to get a call. Deal with it.
I hate being serious, so most of the time I just don't do it.
I'm not as mean as most think I am, although I can't stand it when people tell me to calm down.
I tend to get jealous sort of easily. I'm a recovering music snob, therefore I'm now okay with listening to really horrible music.
Ever since I have come to college, I have watched more reality television than I ever thought was possible. Because of this, I now hate Tyra Banks and her damn show, where the only topic being discussed is how fat her ass isn't.
Going tanning is extremely therapeutic to me, and neither the long nor short-term effects of Ultraviolet Rays concern me at this point.
I used to live in Mississippi, but now I'm at school in New York. I was never a big fan of Mississippi until I moved away, even though I'm utterly obsessed with New York. I miss home and everything about it. I miss the warm weather, the sweet tea, and apparently I have somewhat of a southern accent. I don't think it's that noticeable, but I'd probably die if I ever lost it. I will not hesitate to smack you one if you decide to say something along the lines of how Mississippi is filled with potential Jerry Springer contestants, people who don mullets and live in trailer parks. No, I am not obsessed with country music. My family does not own a farm and/or tractor, and I have never in my life worn camouflage and gone hunting.
I use the words "ridiculous" and "play" a lot, but almost always out of context.
I can't stand bad grammar or alternating capitalization. I really just can't. If you send me a message or comment with "Hey babyyyyyyy wsup holla back," or something equally ridiculous, chances are, I'm going to ignore it.
This is the internet, people. I do not want to date you, and I most certainly will not "HOLLA" at you.
I live for autumn and spring and 10 a.m.
I'm pretty much obsessed with England and I'd much rather be in London right now, love. I watch a lot of British TV to make up for that fact.
I think it is the tackiest thing in the world when people wear black and brown together and make a goddamned outfit out of it. I have also completely lost respect for Dooney and Bourke handbags. I love fashion. It's my only long-term relationship, which I take pretty seriously.
I have a bad habit of laughing during awkward moments. I also have a really bad habit of causing said awkward moments, as well as attracting really creepy people on the E train. Actually, it happens pretty much all the time.
I absolutely love ballet and I've finally gotten back into my pointe shoes after not being in them for years. The idea of this excites me more than almost anything else. Almost. Dance and classes usually take up most of my time during the 9 months I'm in school, but occasionally when I'm free, I like to talk to and hang out with other human beings. Anyway, college is pretty overrated, apart from the weekends that start on Wednesday or Thursday. More often than not, I only want what I can't have, which has presented a few problems for me to say the least.
I never hoped to fly or own a pony like most other kids. Just merely to be famous. Action figures with the ability to make a swift scissor-kick to Barbie's jawline will be made of me and sold for $12.99 at Toys-R-Us, and you'll have "Marianne" tattooed on your inner thigh.
I liked sailors and all that nautical stuff long before stores like Forever 21, Strawberry and Claire's started mass-producing cheap anchor necklaces and striped shirts for bottle-blonde sorority bitches and 14 year-old girls.
I say "OH HELL NO!" a lot, and I know every single word to Beyonce's "Irreplaceable," just like every single other girl with a radio or television and a former grudge.
And sometimes, I ramble.
If you've read this far, then I applaud you.
As for the rest, you'll just have to find out the hard way...
Well, it's nice to meet you.