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59578472

I am here for Dating, Friends and Networking

About Me

I'm 3 feet tall, furry, with a fine, bushy tail and a cock the size of a Burmese python. I was spawned from the black asshole of Satan himself, and have come to your world to kick ass and chew bubblegum... and get in a really long fistfight with Keith David. My goals are global domination and a financial empire that will make Halliburton look like the fucking amateurs they are. Along the way, I also intend to sodomize as many of you pathetic humans as possible. If you join in my crusade to destroy the world as you know it, giving me your patronage and support, I can promise you a quick death, and a place for your body at the top of the heap. View my crusty genitals at www.satanicracoonpress.com. That is all.

My Interests

I'd like to meet:

Whores. Any ethnicity. Just nasty, trashy, cock-greedy whores. Especially fat ones who like it in the ass. Oh, and people who will give me money.

My Blog

At long last...

Guess who's now a licensed embalmer in the state of California? That's right, bitches, it's me.It only took 5 years. Two years of school, almost a year to get my first apprenticeship, and another 2 ...
Posted by on Thu, 05 Feb 2009 00:48:00 GMT

Martin rapes APE

For those of you who live in the Bay Area, Martin the Satanic Racoon will be infecting the Alternative Press Expo with his moldy presence this weekend. Wander down to our table, pick up Martin swag, ...
Posted by on Thu, 19 Apr 2007 01:16:00 GMT

"When the going gets weird, the weird turn pro."

So as some of you may already know, Mr. Martinez recently got a position as an embalmer's apprentice for a mortuary in the ass-end of Los Angeles. This means that in Six Feet Under terms, he is curre...
Posted by on Thu, 07 Sep 2006 00:40:00 GMT

Martin the Satanic Racoon anally violates MySpace

So, welcome to Martin's MySpace page. I finally decided to enter the 21st century and get a fucking MySpace page to more efficiently pimp Martin to the internet masses. If you're not familiar with M...
Posted by on Fri, 12 May 2006 17:59:00 GMT