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I'd like to meet:

Meat. I would like to meet meat. So then our conversation would be like, "What time shall we meet meat?" And meat will be like, "What? why did you say my name twice?" and I would be like, " No I mean where shall we meet? as in meet, you know a meeting place, where we meet!" and then meat will be like, "....I'm meat." and then I would just say, "for fucks sakes have you ever heard of the word meet used in a context other than ur fucking name?" And he would be like, " Well yeh obviously, like a meeting place! You know where you meet people!" And then I'll be like " I JUST SAID THAT! A MEETING PLACE, WHERE YOU MEET!" And then he'll say, " As in the verb to meat? what the fuck is meating?" and I'll say " What? What the fuck are you talking about? What the fuck is a verb?" and meat will say, "you know, a doing word!" and I'd be like, " meat isn't a doing word!" and he'll say, " yeh when you meet someone. To meet" And then I'll go, "Oh fuck you!"