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Hello, IM callum! I am Scottish and Sheep 3 me. I am tall and noodlish. I am nice and friendly just like my dog eilian. IN FACT I LIKE PEOPLE SO MUCH THAT NEARLY EVERY SEX HAS ME WAGGING MY TAIL. Especially my friend zach, man hes a catch. He's Jewish, like me, but man is he hung. Im a heartbreaker, ill admit it, but its only a part-time job. The other part of my day i try to stay warm because i am a professional playgirl calendar model. And if you wanna look good, you gotta stay warm (i hope your catching on). IVE BEEN TOLD THAT IM CUTE, BUT NORMALLY THAT IS BY THIRTEEN YEAR OLD GIRLS THAT EYE FUCK ME THROUGHOUT FIRST COLONY MALL. I SHOULD REALLY TRY A NEW MALL. In my spare time i enjoy shooting balls of paint out of a gun and i like to pretend its a sport so i can call myself an athlete in order to impress the ladies. If you were to ask me what my best feature would be, i would definately have to say my Jewish nose, or my shedding hair. I like to brag about being in a Dutch gang. It consists of my homeboy Rut, who really is a nice guy as long as your up to his weight standards, otherwise you'll be loaded with fat jokes, and my friend Jasper, who is taller than me but not half as lanky. I also have a best friend named Colin, he is most definately my homeboy, hes my homeboy because he can still put up wtih me after i stole his woman, twice. But, best of all i have a friend named JESUS CHRIST. thats right her name is jesus christ and no she is not hanging on the cross around your neck. She's actually asian and i let her take advantage of my bathroom and my car and my Trojans because i wont be needed those myself for a while. In my spare time i enjoy sitting around watch puffs of clouds form out of my mouth and nose at a ghetto place i like to call the hookah bar where suprisingly i havent been shot yet. Oh yeah, and i almost forgot to mention, i also have this other friend (i know my list of frineds goes on and on, im a pretty popular guy if i were to say so myself) her names marina. Ehhh shes alright, i mean shes a little bitchy, but somehow between her insults she manages to turn my smile into a frown, really its amazing, ive never gone from being so happy to so sad so fast. It's friends that have to kind of effect on you which you manage to treasure for life. My friend Phil Queller was the first to realize when i hit puberty he was amazed by my happy trail. But, that trail was happy for about a month because it got blue balled over and over again. I have this one special friend, hes rather mute and the few times that words manage to flow out of his mouth, they flow right through his long hobo hair straight into the bus seat. So really he's never heard or taken seriously unless he is exploring your narnia on the bleachers. Sometimes i feel down right self concious and in order to boost my testerone i decide to throw out several cocky comments which quoted "thoroughly annoy my friend marina". But, the highlight of my evenings are my text sex's which i find to be somehow pleasuring within the loins. Now for the anti-sexual side of me. I am a down right nice guy and if u ever hear otherwise then u must be talking to my friend marina. If your ever my girlfriend and were out lets hope we dont run into my friend mark who will most definately ask you if your my bitch. Oh and by the way if you happen to attend Awty International School of Houston this Monday May 22nd i suggest you vote for me for secretary because i have the neatest handwriting to a point where one day i will sit in the White House and take notes on the affair going on between the most recent president and his hoe. Basically to wrap this up I am a cocky, downright to earth, horny, handsome, predictable, most HIPPO-CRITICAL, guy you will ever meet. But, i can guarantee that you will not forget me.
