Yeah, well I guess everyone knows who I am...Teenage genius/doctor..but you all don't know what I have been up to since the show cancelled in 1993.
After the show cancelled I was basically at a loss. I quickly followed all the other childhood actors and immersed myself with drugs and alcohol. Playing a dork on television really messed up my chances in the real world, so I created my own.
One day after a hard night of partying, 18 shots of tequila, 2 shots of heroin, and desperately trying to lose my virginity, I woke up in some grubby hotel room in Tijuana being man handled by two she-males with a dildo strapped to my head. Boy, what a shocker that was!
Anyway, 10 hours later after kissing Daniela and Kandy Kane goodbye I left the hotel room a new man with a new mission.
I learned a lot that day, and I owe it all to Ms. Daniela and Ms. Kandy Kane- No more partying for me from now on! The world was open, and with the remaining $5.12 in my bank account I set off to become a gynecologist. From now on women will be paying ME to stick my face into their privates and not the other way around...and guess what? They even THANK me for it! I just figured it's the best chance I will ever get to be near a woman since everyone thinks I am gay anyway.
Of course, this is just a temporary fix. I do hope to be a big star again someday. When I grow some pubic hair or maybe even some chest hair, people might just take me seriously. I wanna be where the beautiful people are, so please don't mind if I choose not to add you. You see I am here for networking purposes only...
It's not personal,
it's just business.
Sincerely,
-Doogie
