CHUMA

My name is Chuma and yes I am a cat!! To be honest, I know I'm hot and get pretty much everything I want! Sometimes I even get fed the good stuff 3 times a day! I have suckered Jess into feeding me before she goes to work just by standing on my tippy paws while she loads my plate, for some reason she thinks it's cute? Then when Darren gets up I convince him Jess forgot to feed me before she left and I get fed again!! I drink out of faucets because I am too good for a bowl. I like to pee in Jess's overnight bags or drains...if you have your hand on the wall or try to play with me I will stick my claws deep into your skin until you bleed! If you are sitting on the couch I will jump up and claw your face, same thing will happen if you try to hold me (unless your Jess)! I can't resist cardboard boxes or paper bags. My favorite hiding places are the kitchen cabinets, I learned how to open them! I like to climb on countertops and shed hair all over the place...that's when they call me, "NO!" or "GET DOWN!" I've decided I like those names better so I continue to do it until I am threatened with my spray bottle. I hate that thing but find I am still drawn to it, I like to drink out of it when Darren sprays it to tell you the truth. I know I don't sound like much fun to be around but I am so good looking all the bad stuff is forgotten about...I like Jess because she holds me right and I can be face to face with Darren when I claw him. I like Darren because he hasn't taken my claws from me! I'm afraid one day Jess will talk him into it...Jess let me join myspace because it is my only connection to the outside world. Darren will let me go out to play once in a great while but try to retain me by building traps so I can only go on the balconies! I like to go in the backyard so I will sacrafice breaking a leg by jumping off only to find Darren chasing me to bring me back inside! They don't like me to go outside because I roll around in the dirt and try to get as filthy as possible! I do it because I know when I have to go in they will feed me so Darren can put my flea medicine on (which I hate) but hey! anything for food! I have a girlfriend but I only see her every so often when she walks by the back door of my bedroom. Normally, I don't like other cats, but she makes me feel differently. I can't help but stare at her, then I try to play it cool by walking away only to find myself turn around and see her still sitting there staring back at me. I told Jess one day I will escape but she said as long as Darren's around it will never happen!