I'm an animal trainer contracting with the U.S. government to train turtles for underwater surveillance in foreign waters. This offers me a great deal of job security since turtles are such slow learners! Before that, i trained elephants to be guide animals for sight-impared people (dogs take a long time to train and have a short life span!). That program was shut down after a series of unfortunate events that i wont go into. I'll just say that pachyderms don't do well in heavily crowded neighborhoods with small children. I've also learned that it's a good idea to keep ones liquor cabinet firmly locked. I also have several side projects going right now. I'm doing research on fast food and it's affects on the human body, well, mostly my own body. That study will wrap up in 5 to 10 years hopefuly. In my free time, I invent more tall tales to share with the gullible and faint of mind.
I also enjoy torturing the uninitiated with the abbrasive sounds of any of the bands listed to the left. In my case, metal and hardcore were acquired tastes, so i'm holding out hope that a certain someone will eventually learn to love this music as much as do I :-)
