I know God will break all the chains
That are binding me tight in "the darkness"
And trying to fill me with fear ...
For there is "no night without dawning"
And I know that "my morning" is near.
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"When things happen they always happen for a reason... good or bad... but purpose is ALWAYS the main ingredient for God's madness... and it's never because God doesn't want us to have good things. The old cliche is "you don't give a ferrari to a 10 y/o." A certain knowledge and stability is required to drive the car and get the most from it. God doesn't give his children gifts their not ready to handle. Instead he chooses to ride out the storm with us, giving us only what we need. Although, very painful, it's often when we give up the fight and our desires to him, that we begin to relax, start looking outward and generally without realizing it become more trusting, attractive, stable and ultimately ready for bigger things."
Everyone and Anyone... I love people... but i hate bitchy catty girls and asshole guys that think with their little heads, are arrogant and think they can walk on water... sorry to burst your bubble but just so you know, shit floats. I want to meet girls that are down to earth and fun and guys that have a bigger heart than their package. I'm a surfer and i have a truck driver's mouth. I don't care about being discreet with my words, they are mine and mine alone, take it or leave it. I stand on my own and live on my own... i'm not afraid to hurt your feelings, i've learned not to beat around the bush and i don't expect you to either. Don't sugar coat things to not hurt my feelings, i come with a label and that is "5 min later i will have forgotten about you anyway" and will probably be off laughing at how stupid you are, but without a doubt in my mind i will be off having a good time WITH or WITHOUT you, so get off your high horse and live your life around yourself... not around someone else, 10 to 1 says they will hurt you anyway and won't think twice about it... never put someone on a pedestal and don't allow yourself to be put on one either... don't settle for being someone's angel because it only takes a 6 inch fall for your halo to become a noose... past circumstances have made me like my zodiac sign... cancer the crab... hard exterior and soft interior... i don't take kindly to ignorance, so if you're ignorant... VAMOOS - keep walking, don't look back to see if i'm looking, because i won't be -if you can hold decent conversation and look me in the eye when you speak, we'll get along... people with shifty eyes and shifty moods make me weary... i used to live on a 3 chance rule, 3 red flags movement... NOW - you get one chance and one red flag, after that i'm out... i can smell a rat a mile away and i can spot a player from miles away, talking to you is just giving you the benefit of the doubt. Another thing life experiences has taught me. I'm looking to have just as good a time as the next, but not at another heart's expense, i expect the same decency and respect in return. If i meet you in a bar and you try swaying me with free drinks and whispering sweet nothings in my ear, i will take you for all your worth (ex. drinks, shots and shooters) and you will leave the bar with not even a number let alone me and a happy ending. Word to the stupid... us blondes may act ditzy and dumb, but we have alterior motives when we pick up your scuz motives... it's hard to see the trees through the sleeze but we usually do... never underestimate your opponent.
Beauty is in the eye of the maker... Jesus Christ.
In all the world, there is no one else exactly like me. Everything that comes out of me, is authentically mine because I alone chose it. - I own everything about me, my body, my feelings, my mouth, my voice, all of my actions. Whether they be to others or to myself. - I own my fantasies, my dreams, my hopes, my fears. - I own all my triumphs and successes, all my failures and mistakes because I own all of me, I can become intimately acquinted with me. - By doing so I can love me and be friendly with me in all my parts. - I know there are aspects about myself that puzzle me, and other aspects that I do not know. - But as long as I am friendly and loving to myself, I can courageously and hopefully look for solutions to the puzzles and for more ways to find out more about me. - However I look and sound, whatever I say and do, and whatever I think and feel at a given moment in time is authentically me. - If later some parts of how I looked, sounded, thought and felt turn out to be unfitting, I can discard that which is unfitting, keep the rest, and invent something new for that which I discarded. - I can see, hear, feel, think, say and do. I have the tools to survive, to be close to others, to be productive, and to make sense and order out of the world, of people and the things outside of me. - I own me and therefore I can engineer me. - I am me and I am okay.
I have 3 hereos.... My mother is one of my heroes, my great grandmother is another one and God is the last.
My Mother is a woman of a thousand words... all of which point to her being genuine, genuine in every sense imagineable. With the strength my mother showed since the time I can remember, I know even I can pull through the things that are pulling me down. My mother is a role model for me. She has shown me that even at your weakest point, you can find the strength from within, even if that means having to pull it from the core of your being to make it through.
My Great-Grandmother, RIP GRAM 05.30.14 - 08.24.07- She was going to be 94 y/o, and her wisdom she bestowed upon me has had a tremendous effect. She has made me into the selfless, non-judgemental person, that is filled with morale today. She taught me to seek the good in every person that I come in contact with. To look into their eyes and embrace the very soul that inhabits that person. She taught me to never hate and to love everyone as you love yourself. She is a very smart woman.
And lastly, God. I am not a devout Christian, but I do believe in heaven and hell. I do believe that angels as well as demons walk the earth... both pushing us and shoving us to do good, selfless deeds and to do wrong and fall into temptation. I believe when my time is up... tomorrow or 80 yrs. from now that I will get to see what beauty and mystery lies beyond the gates of heaven.