Brandon

The unstoppable urge to kick fucking asses led me to join the Army in 2003. I have a love for all things awesome and asskicking related. I study the greatest works of Classical badassery. I am a goddamned professional top-rate intergalactic asskicker I fly to 3rd world shit holes killing tough ass taliban warriors and turning their skulls into beer mugs just for shits and giggles. I enjoy tearing out their spinal column Sub Zero-style with their one good hand and then use their severed head to violently bludgeon all of their buddies to death while shouting at the top of my lungs the word "motherfucker" to their grandmother. I have more weapons than an entire longboat of viking warriors but I am ready to fistfight anybody, anytime, anywhere, for any reason it's an opportunity to brush up on my face-smashing skills. My friends and I are the toughest, most badass people you'll ever meet.We do a bunch of crazy fucking black ops shit right out of a Chuck Norris movie. We'll punch rattlesnakes right in the mouth. We Leave the bad guys screaming in their pain fueled profanities, racking up kill counts that make Freddy Krueger look like that one Teletubbie everyone thinks is gay.