John profile picture

John

About Me

I am a highly advanced form of corn.

My Interests

I'd like to meet:

Gene Wilder.

My Blog

Tip Your Executioner

                 Harrison Hardwicke and me had about a fifty-mile drive out to a party in Rio Rancho where I hoped to run into Katy Bell...
Posted by on Wed, 04 Oct 2006 15:12:00 GMT

Ex

    Daydream today   Ex smiling in a sun dress   Laughing about shadow play   Dark night whispers morning warmth   Eyes shut full of life   Then torn to pieces by ...
Posted by on Wed, 04 Oct 2006 15:11:00 GMT

A Last Dance With Victoria

                 The Building awakens when the Violinist steps onto his roof.  Her feet are bare, but she doesn't feel the snow.&n...
Posted by on Wed, 04 Oct 2006 15:07:00 GMT

Chad's Orgy

Chad's Orgy     Chad tells me he would like to have sexual intercourse   With twenty women at one time   More than twenty as a matter of fact he said the sky's the limit   As ...
Posted by on Wed, 04 Oct 2006 15:04:00 GMT

Letter From an Extremely Tiny Man

Letter From an Extremely Tiny Man To His Mother     Dear Mom,   Great news!  As of today, I have found an apartment in the eyebrow of a hairy Armenian man.  I put down first a...
Posted by on Tue, 16 May 2006 11:31:00 GMT

"Cigar Shop Girls"

  "Cigar Shop Girls"   I am a man who likes girls employed gainfully in the tobacco industry   These two cigar shop girls lovely ones with smiles you'd like inside this great place I've...
Posted by on Wed, 26 Apr 2006 15:39:00 GMT

An Email from Jennifer Jones, Production Assistant

Dear Mr. Salcido,My name is Jennifer Jones and I am a Production Assistant for the Stanford '06 Classbooks Team. While in the process of reviewing the online submissions, we ran across your classbooks...
Posted by on Fri, 21 Apr 2006 11:18:00 GMT

"Getting Fined on Nowhere Drive"

  "Getting Fined on Nowhere Drive" By John R. Salcido     I'd like you to visit me sometime on Nowhere Drive   To bring some love and some joy to an unhappy home   But if you ...
Posted by on Wed, 19 Apr 2006 15:07:00 GMT

"Anonymous Life"

     "Anonymous Life" By John R. Salcido                  My first kill was at a book signing in Des Moines for my novel...
Posted by on Wed, 19 Apr 2006 14:59:00 GMT

"Reina's Blender"

"Reina's Blender"   I broke Reina's blender, which used to blend nicely but now it doesn't   It fell when I was digging for the toaster in a kitchen cabinet   Heard a loud crack and the...
Posted by on Tue, 11 Apr 2006 18:13:00 GMT