Tom Batten profile picture

Tom Batten

danger? screw danger! you have no idea what i do with my free time

About Me

"I hate when art becomes a religion. I feel the opposite. When you start putting a higher value on works of art than people, you’re forfeiting your humanity. There’s a tendency to feel the artist has special privileges, and that anything’s okay if it’s in the service of art. I tried to get into that in Interiors. I always feel the artist is much too revered: it’s not fair and it’s cruel. It’s a nice but fortuitous gift—like a nice voice or being left-handed. That you can create is a kind of nice accident. It happens to have high value in society, but it’s not as noble an attribute as courage. I find funny and silly the pompous kind of self-important talk about the artist who takes risks. Artistic risks are like show-business risks—laughable." Woody Allen++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++" The important point that I'm trying to make is that storytelling has nothing, whatsoever, to do with logic. Logic is a limping stepchild of the true processes of the spirit. It's an illusion. It's a defective little parlor trick. Associations are the way that we perceive. Electrical connections caused by the juxtapositions of experience. That's the way we are really built, and storytelling takes into account that truth." David Milch

My Interests

I'd like to meet:

MOSES

My Blog

NEW BLOG

CHECK OUT:http://tomwhereeaglesdare.blogspot.com/THANKS.
Posted by on Sat, 16 Aug 2008 03:47:00 GMT

from the help desk

If you ever walk in on your roommate masturbating, I would suggest that you just start masturbating, too. That way things won't get too awkward. Need advice? Write in!
Posted by on Wed, 30 Jan 2008 14:35:00 GMT

triumph of the human fart

The worst thing about internet pornography is when my credit card bill comes before I do.
Posted by on Tue, 29 Jan 2008 15:40:00 GMT

An excerpt from my forthcoming book

WHO'S AFRAID?An Oral Biography of Virginia WoolfComplied by Tom BattenPORTNOY GLADSTONE Former Butler to the Woolf familyShe would just shit her brains for Bluegrass music. Not a lot of people know t...
Posted by on Thu, 01 Nov 2007 22:18:00 GMT

THE PRESIDENT AND THE U.N.

The President is at the UN today, giving a speech in which he is expected to ask world leaders to continue to fight against poverty and tyranny around the world.Those assholes had better listen.I hear...
Posted by on Tue, 25 Sep 2007 07:10:00 GMT

NEVER BEEN HACKED

To date my Myspace account has never been hacked. I know, I know, you're not supposed to rush these things and if it's meant to happen it will. I understand that. But knowing does nothing to take a...
Posted by on Tue, 18 Sep 2007 21:20:00 GMT

FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE

I am sorry to announce that after a period of intense introspection and meeting with my esteemed council I have decided that I have no choice but to effective immediately end my long-term relationshi...
Posted by on Sat, 15 Sep 2007 13:48:00 GMT

ORPHAN

What the hell am I going to do with this orphan?Right now he's sleeping in the little nest I made him on the floor. That sounds bad, making the orphan sleep on the floor while I'm sprawled out on the...
Posted by on Tue, 10 Jul 2007 22:23:00 GMT

CHAPTER ONE

When you're a detective-for-hire, people ask you questions all the time. They think you have all the answers, and what answers you don't have they want you to find out. I can't complain much, that's ...
Posted by on Mon, 09 Jul 2007 00:03:00 GMT

MERCHANDISE

I get to work at 11pm and dive right in to my regular duties, setting the traps in the ladies department and then checking the restrooms. I check if there's enough toilet paper and soap, if the trash...
Posted by on Mon, 09 Jul 2007 00:01:00 GMT