I ate porkchops everyday for the first eight years of my life. I prefer cricket over polo. I hate porkchops. My favorite color is lime-pink with a hint of brown. My cat speaks with a British accent (northern Liverpool, to be exact). I married my first true love. I have never smoked crack. The worst job ever is a street-sweeper...except for maybe a whipping boy. I am allergic to hay, yet I look rather cool with a piece in my mouth. John Wayne didn't die of cancer, he died of a broken heart. Gus Harmon is the biggest turd-bucket in the history of history. The Yankees will win the pennant next year. I like the smell of Lake Palestine on a warm summer day. Many squirrels have met their maker thanks to me and a BB gun (my apologies to Jesus, his beautiful oak trees in heaven, and The Squirrel King). I still don't know who killed JR (althought I think it may either be Lee Harvey Oswald or Marshall Matt Dillion). We should give anything east of Loop 323 to Canada and/or Cuba. It's kind of strange that NY has the Mets, Jets, and Nets. My favorite holiday is Lincoln's Birthday. Santa Anna was a real man's man. Gravy only taste good with one thing...whipped cream. Pillows are for the weak...
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