Jesse profile picture

Jesse

Fuck you, I won't do what you tell me.

About Me

What could you want to know about me? I'm a transplant to Laredo from America...its a great place that America. If you ever leave Laredo its just north on I-35. Try it sometime, you might just like it...but I think you might need a passport or papers to get there if you're from here. Now more about me...I'm a criminal defense attorney by day and a crime fighter by night...I know weird huh? I think my apparent split personality has something to do with the complexity and duality of man...or it could be as my momma would say: The endless stream of bullshit that spews from my mouth...Ok, so my momma doesn't say that, but she's thinking it, I can tell. Oh yeah and I have a tatoo of Gizmo from Gremlins on my bum...So I could spend a lot of time telling you the secrets of my soul or I could just fill out a survey...I chose the survey:
Name : Jesse
Nick Name : Jhern
Birthdate : February 5
Birthplace : Fort Hood
Current Location : Hell
Eye Color : Lean a little closer and see for yourself...
Hair Color : Um...would you believe blonde?
Height : About three apples.
Weight : Much more than three apples...more like five
Piercings : Needles hurt.
Tatoos : I just said needles hurt, you should listen.
Boyfriend/Girlfriend : Why? Did someone ask about me?
Vehicle : Yes, please.
Overused Phrase : Mira mami, you know I'm a lawyer right?
FAVORITES
Food : Puffy tacos from Niche's or Henry's!
Pub/Disc/Restaurant : Howl at the Moon...Always good times.
Candy : Haribo Gummy Bears
Number : 9
Color : Red...That's rojo to most of you.
Animal : I always wanted to be a Panther as a small boy.
Drink : Dos XX's
Body Part on Opposite sex : Smile...oh yeah and boobs. Can I say that?
Perfume : If I'm close enough to smell it I love it!
TV Show : College Gameday or Ugly Betty, I'm diverse.
Music Album : What's an album? I think you mean Mitch Albom. But I don't like him.
Movie : A Time To Kill
Actor/Actress : Roselyn Sanchez
This or That
Pepsi or Coke : Dr. Pepper
McDonalds or BurgerKing : Wendy's
Chocolate or Vanilla Caramel
Hot Chocolate or Coffee : Caramel Macchiato
Kiss or Hug : Both please.
Dog or Cat : Dog
Rap or Punk : Reggaton
Summer or Winter : Spring, its best for golfing.
Scary Movies or Funny Movies : Funny movies.
Love or Money : Yes, please.
YOUR...
Bedtime : 3 a.m....unless something good happens...lol
Most Missed Memory : If its missed how could it be a memory?
Best phyiscal feature : Medulla Oblongata
First Thought Waking Up : Fuck! I had court this morning!
Ambition : To be the best trial attorney ever.
Best Friends : They know who they are.
Weakness : Smart women...especially Latinas.
Fears : Selling out.
Longest relationship : 5 years.
HAVE YOU...
Cheated Your Partner : Only out of having me forever...lol.
Ever been beaten up : I do have older brothers.
Ever beaten someone up : Only on a field of play.
Ever Shoplifted : That's not very nice.
Ever Skinny Dipped : lol...wouldn't you like to know ;-)
Ever Kissed Opposite sex : Sadly no, I'm 28 and never been kissed, wanna be my first?
Been Dumped Lately : No one dumps the kid.
IN A GUY/GIRL
Favorite Eye Color : Yours are the most captivating I have ever seen.
Favorite Hair Color : Black
Short or Long : I love the way you waer yours. It really compliments your lips.
Height : I like shorties.
Style : Her own hopefully.
Looks or Personality : I love a girl with personality.
Hot or Cute Cute is much more adorable.
Muscular or Really Skinny : Curves have a beauty all their own.
RANDOMS
What country do you want to Visit : I hear Mexico is nice.
How do you want to Die : After a very very long life.
Been to the Mall Lately : For lunch the other day...yummy Chinese food.
Get along with your Parents : Like family.
Health Freak : Are you serious?
Do you think your Attractive : Depends how drunk I am.
Believe in Yourself : Someone has got to...
Want to go to College : I'd love to go back for a M.A. or Ph.d.
Do you Smoke : Cohibas occasionally.
Do you Drink : Like a...like a...well like someone who drinks alot.
Shower Daily : No I prefer to stink.
Been in Love : That's why it burns when I pee.
Do you Sing : Like a co-defendant.
Want to get Married : Look you're nice but we just met, baby...
Do you want Children : A life of headache and heartbreak? Sure, why not.
Age you wanna lose your Virginity : Anytime now. Anytime.
Hate anyone : Hate is such an ugly word. I prefer loathe.

My Interests

I'm interested in lots of stuff...like..um...umm...well I can't think of anything as of yet, but I'm certain that I'm interested in lots of stuff...like making people laugh and cooking. Yeah, I likk to cook for people. It makes them smile...and it makes them sleepy. Then I get to draw funny faces on them with a permanent marker! I do a lot of stuff to make people smile and sometimes it might seem over the top or too presumptious, but I just like to see those pearly whites...What can I say? I'm a people person! But don't talk to me because I really don't like people. But I love dogs, especially my dog Justice:

I'd like to meet:

People who don't suck. Yeah that's right I said it. And what? No honestly, I'd just like to meet really cool people like most of my myspace hommies are. I'd also like to meet some really hot women who are turned on by funny, short poorly paid government attorneys with endless ambition...so if you know any girls like that, holla atcha boy! Oh yeah and Jesus...not Jesus Christ, but the Jesus that left the really funny comment on the door to the bathroom stall at Agave...El tiene mucho ja ja! Enough about me how about a couple of pics of my nephew? Here he is with mouse ears at Disneyland. And in the other picture he's with my brother, his uncle Ted and his mommy Norma. I'm sure his daddy is taking the pics! .. width="425" height="350" ....

Music:

I'm eclectic. I am into music of all sorts. Listen to my myspace profile songs and you'll see that it changes pretty much every five minutes. I swear last week it went form Pavarotti to Chamillionaire to Pantera to Bebe to Tool to Alvin and the Chipmunks...oh like you can pass on Alvin? Yeah, quit mean mugging.

Movies:

Anything law related...The Firm. Rainmaker. Philadelphia. Intolerable Cruelty. A Few Good Men. A Civil Action. I'm in love with being a lawyer and I love watching movies about the law.

Television:

Yes, I like the television. Especially college football, The Simpsons, Family Guy, Iron Chef America, Rockstar: Anything and Comedy Central Presents.

Books:

All of them. Of course books about lawyers like Grisham and Martini..books on how to be a better trial lawyer...poetry...books on rhetoric...I'll read anything at least once...I love to read, its one of my favorite uses of time.

Heroes:

People who refuse to sell out. People who refuse to give up. Every one in my family.

My Blog

Democracy's Apathy...

In 1976 Pastor Martin Niemöller wrote the following poem to express frustration about how Germans did nothing as the Nazi's tore through their various communities. Years later NOFX adapted the poem to...
Posted by Jesse on Fri, 16 Mar 2007 08:40:00 PST

What miserable blog this is...

Have you ever had one those times when you were really freaked out by something and then you started laughing becuase you realized it was an April Fool's joke? But then you realized that it wasn't Apr...
Posted by Jesse on Fri, 09 Mar 2007 11:35:00 PST

I hate mornings...

Its not that I have anything personal against the morning. Really, its not. I mean if you look back through time you will see that morning has never really done anything bad to me. Well it does have a...
Posted by Jesse on Tue, 06 Mar 2007 08:38:00 PST

Beware the BK King!

I'm not one who typically buys into that conspiracy b.s. I don't think that George Bush knocked down the towers. I don't think that the Russian Mafia killed Kennedy and I don't believe that the Easter...
Posted by Jesse on Tue, 06 Mar 2007 08:25:00 PST

Birthday blog....

About 5:30 this morning the creaking in my bones told me what was inevitable. Another birthday had arrived. It seems that some 28 years ago today my mother gave birth and I took my first breath. I'm n...
Posted by Jesse on Mon, 05 Feb 2007 12:45:00 PST

Congratulations on your mediocrity...

Yawn...I can't sleep so I thought maybe I could write a little something tonight. I don't really have anything on my mind. To be honest with you I'm exhausted. We just wrapped up a possession of marij...
Posted by Jesse on Thu, 01 Feb 2007 12:15:00 PST

Timing is everything...

Its amazing how little control we actually have over our lives. Sure on a day to day basis we have the power to dictate what we wear and what we do and where we go, but so much of our lives are dictat...
Posted by Jesse on Wed, 31 Jan 2007 09:12:00 PST

I have a heavy heart...8lbs. 3 oz....to be exact

Oh, how my heart is heavy tonight. It could be the 20-oz t-bone and loaded baked potato I just devoured or it could be something else. Something much more sinister. Something much darker...Nah, i...
Posted by Jesse on Thu, 25 Jan 2007 11:32:00 PST

Its not all free powdered milk and cheese...

On occassion I have been asked to deliver commencement speeches to various beauty and dog grooming colleges across this great land of ours. While I would like to attribute my consistent acceptance of ...
Posted by Jesse on Wed, 24 Jan 2007 10:02:00 PST

Dream a little dream for me...

I hate to write blogs when I'm depressed, but who can I turn to in my time of need if not a group of mostly total strangers who never respond to my emails, comments, sexual solicitaions or invita...
Posted by Jesse on Wed, 24 Jan 2007 09:15:00 PST