Andy Gray

Alrhite, aam Andy Gray. You mie a seen me orn sky sports wit ma good fhriend/gemp, Richard Keys. If ye havnae seen me, then ye'l ave definately heard me, a'm the annoyin, pretentious, scorttish twat oo nuvver shuts is trap. A know everythun there is te knoo aboot foutboll. A was a player once, 'onest. A were the best, everythun ye luke for in a player, a embodied. A played fe Wolves, Everton, Villa, Rangers, and bhriefly West Brom. When i retired, a sune rhealised tha ma prospects of gettin a job as a manager or a coach were dire te say the least. Mainly 'cause a had nae friends. So a did what every lonely, talentless foutboll player does when he retires... a became a pundet! Now a'm the best pundit tha evar levved. A like te remain neutral... a only support whoever's winnin, and a really, really like stating the obvious. A enjoy poetry an try te incorporate it inte ma broadcasts, i cannae spell tho. A like to think that ma best moment of commentary was when a penned the term: "Liquid foutboll". A always like te predict things that are more than likely te happen. When they doo, a gloat orn et like a smug-faced pig and pretend that a'm a foutboll psychic. Another one of ma favourite sayings is "A told you so!!!"