About Me
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I'm 29 years old and enjoy long strolls in the dark, bumping into things, pretending to be retarded to get free food from Taco Bell, spitting into the open windows of on-coming traffic, watching rich old brittle ladies walking enormous dogs, falling down stairs, trying to reason with drunk people, unexpectedly talking with a British or Indian accent, trying to run over squirrels, making off-colored jokes, akward silences, going BACK to school at a community college, writing, playing hopscotch, getting stupid, being brow-beaten by my wife, dressing up as the Easter bunny while talking shit about the Holy Trinity, yelling at traffic, talking shit about my boss behind his back (Hi Brian), Scratching records on a turntable while drunk, doing the cabbage patch, , laughing loudly and yelling "Ha Ha You suck!" when people fall, staring down white people that try too hard at ebonics, drinking tuna in oil like a milkshake without draining it, pulling hair, fucking with people just to see their reaction, using irony to make people wonder if I'm being an asshole or not, kicking other peoples' dogs, just basically being an all around dick and inventing new ways to make God hate me.My Dad was in the Navy and then a preacher so I've lived in a lot of different places like Denver, CO-Portland, OR--All over Cali, Houston and Dallas, TX, to name a few. This exposed me too a lot of different types of people but also meant making new friends every coupla years. Tiring of that shit I grew my hair long, joined a band and the rest is history...Well that's not totally truthful. Had some fun but up came carpal tunnel, numb fingers, too many drugs, too many drugs, goddam get a grip boy too many drugs, lots of good stories, too many drugs, many women, too many drugs...Almost killed a guy for breaking into my parents' house, found out he was connected. Realized I didn't wanna die or be one of those loser old guys still trying to make the big time, so I gave up and moved.Obla-Di Obla-Da life goes on, braa! I then found a great girl, got a real job, and got married. I'm currently working and going to school. I hope someday to find a job where I can write. I do scripts and short stories, have a little bit published, but hope to get a job writing fulltime before I graduate with a Business Degree. But If I don't, fuck it, life goes on. No big shit.
