Recently I have come to discover many new things about myself. You see, I am actually a robot. Apparently late in the 20th century the Czechoslovakian government contracted some men, who would later found the company that would eventually come to be known as Fisher Price, to build a robot. That is how I came to be created...I don't know too much more about my origins because many of the secrets surrounding my creation were destroyed during the civil war that split the Czechoslovakian nation in two. All I really know is that with the economic downfall of the Fisher Price corporation, I no longer have anyone to service my aging circuits and hardware...so I'm kind of falling apart. A huge part of my interior is comprised of styrofoam as well, so if anyone happens to have any extra styrofoam cups laying around, I'd be happy to collect them and store them for future repairs to myself.
So I know what you're probably asking yourself, "Is it safe to be around a robot?" Well, I'm not sure...I don't know if I was created for good or evil purposes. There are a few bits of my programming that, with the help of my friend Danny, we have been able to decypher. Here's what we've found out.
I have been programmed to think the following things are ultra-turbo-mega-cool:
-White T-Shirts-Milk
-Banana Hammocks
-Chuck Taylors
-Leather moccasins
-Peanut Butter and Banana Sandwiches
-Waldo from Family Matters
-Mind Readers
-Air Guitar Solos
-Vampire Musicals
-Dr. Acula
-Zombies
-Cowboys
-Damsels in Distress
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