Hmm..... Where should I start? OK. I know....Chapters. ( first of all, I warn you, my story is infinate!!!)
1.) I was born in the jungles of New Guinea, Where I was trained in the ancient art of shankin' people until a migrant social worker abducted me and shipped my fat ass off to Yaroslavl,Russia where I spent most of my child hood (up until I was about age 45) during most of which I was placed under house arrest for alegedly playing a "key" role in the assassination of the Ethiopian priminister Rahl Zeffik Abdul-Jehar from the the year 2323AD.
A starving artist known for his mastery of "light complexion" by the name "Raymond Alcolve" heard my pleas and came to my aid. He had "connections" with the higher authorities. Within a month, I was released under extrenuating circumstances. During this time, the solitary confinement had taken its toll on my body; I couldn't deal with the constant liberties. (those of wich that had been granted to me during the decades of solitary confinement)- I had gone temporarily insane. I found myself to be different and changed; in a word, "unique."
2.) After "freedom be given," I soon realized that I nor my mind was bounded to earth by the former laws of physics and I could defy all previous limittations. I could control matter with mere thoughts. I soon found my mental prowess to be so great that if I was to concentrate enough on a thought, I could alter reality and reshape it so that it could better suit my likeness.
I remember ... as a young man, I heard a quote from Spiderman's late Uncle Ben; that "With great power comes great responsibility" then, I thought to myself, ....he should try telling that to the Hulk.
3.) I soon went corrupt and became power hungry. I became a powerful dictator, took control of east Africa, and laid waste to all who dared to stand in my way. I reformed Antarctica- made it into a principality then became it's president. After several years had gone by, I regained some sanity and became aware of my loneliness. I decided to search for someone who was fit to rule along side me. My search lead me to visualy impared baby koala. I named it ....(to be continued)5.) Once in Geneva, I enrolled in the army as a foreign shoe salesman. We reunited the twelve golden sarcoughaguses or, "sarcoughagi" (as I call them) that had belonged to the great Aztec priests of Leung wu-sheii. It was then that I stumbled upon the place where all good souls come to rest (The Slums of Shaolin)Giovanni? Do you mean the founder of our nation and the destroyer of all civilization? His cruelty was and still is LEGENDARY...
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