Zombieeeâ„¢ [57896319]

Alexsandra 15 female California. && This is when I finally learn the real meaning of change. Im doing the things I used to be against, Im dating the people I thought I never would, & Im befriending the people I used to hate. Ive learned what it's like to have my heart broken, to lose a friend that truly meant something to me, & to feel as if everything is really falling apart. there have been times that my life seems so absolutely horrible it feels like it's not real. despite all this, good things will come to me. I'll make the most amazing friends that will be there for me even when they probably shouldn't. My broken heart will heal once I find the most perfect guy I've ever met, & just as nothing else can go wrong, things will only get better. there will be the days where I am so happy, & the days that I feel like dying. drama happens, gossip goes around, & cunts talk shit. maybe this is just the teenage years, maybe it's life, or maybe this is just what growing up isI've realized a ton this year.And I honestly hate the fact that I have.I hate it sooo much.Ive become such a complainer and everything is just boring to me. I don't even know who I am anymore.I don't look forward to anything anymore.And being straight forward with thisI don't like many of my friends.I only know who a few of my true friends are. But everyone else screws around and creates drama and are all fake.I love some of my friends and my whole family to death.But everyone else I have simply lost respect for.Noone has showed me the real themNoone has showed me that people can change.Noone has showed me that people can't be assholes.Noone has proved anything to meAnd its not that I blame everyone else for my shit because that isn't it at all.But I guess I almost just rely on someone every now and then.And lately, no one can help me.Thanks to some of you. Who have been there for me, cheered me up,. And done anything they could.But it doesn't do much goodI just don't show that.There are some people who I really care about, and who really care about me. yes most of you know who you areBut there are others who are fake and act to be like my friend.Well, if you are fake, and you know who you are unless I tell you, im done with you.I don't like being called a whore or a slut or a bitch.But I can take it.You are just fake.Trying to turn all my friends against me.Well good for you.Because I do hurt. I won't show it right away. But I honeslty do. I have feelings too which you think don't even exist.I hate people throwing all there shit on me.You can tell me your problems and I will listen and try to help you out. But if you are not ever there for me. Don't expect a reply or anything.You can think I sound like a bitch. Or you can say I am one. Just keep it to yourself or don't even read anymore.So go ahead and call me pathetic or stupid.But I am not.I am not pathetic at all. Too young for all this.So ive decided to help myself out and change some things.No more false or fake or non real friends.No more drama.No more depression.No more fighting or starting shit with people.No putting myself down or hurting myself.No more falling for boys and then getting screwed over.& hopefully this will change a lot.I am not writing this for attention. Go ahead and send me hate mail. Go for it.I am doing this so you all understand why I have been upset lately or why I've been hurting or said stupid things.Sorry, it is lame I knowBut I guess it just feels good to let my feelings out every now and then.if you understand me you can comment.or message me.and if you hate me, hate me with all you've got. and don't even talk to me.