The Frauds

From the ashes of the punk revolution, The Frauds were undoubtedly one of the pioneers of post punk tcheucter art glam rock, while retaining their appeal with the West Lothian proletarian scum bags. Their unique sound was fashioned in garages and working class conservatories using one amp, a selection of boxes, a proper bass and a broken guitar borrowed from a six year old boy, which never had more than five strings on it at any one time..........After several months of song writing, or plagiarism as we now call it, the band was ready for their first gig. The first line up included the iconic and ultimately tragic figure of Tumch on vocals and took place in front of a 2000 strong crowd at the Livingston Bowl. Problems with the lights and bad boys spitting on the floor did nothing to detract from the majesty of the performance. Unfortunately, the pressure of expectation and success was too much for Tumch, and he succumbed to a reclusive lifestyle with stories of his increasingly bizarre tea fuelled decline a matter of vicious tabloid record..........A replacement came soon after in the boyish shape of local Butlin's Redcoat Eddie Welsh, thus completing the classic line-up that would take the music industry by storm over the next year or so..........Be-quiffed, lager loving bike riding Mikey Wynne on guitar; bouffanted lager loving lift sponging Bill Carlye on drums; shoulder chipped lager loving hotpant wearing Eddie Welsh on vocals; and eternally sober, fag smoking John Innes on bass, roadie duties and Ford Escort..........The band were championed by Radio one 275/285 and were on the John Peel show twice, and Annie Nightingale’s Christmas card list. A rigorous recording schedule and foreign touring commitments followed, with the band recording two studio LP’s, and visiting all corners of the globe – from Livingston to Penicuik. The release of their live album ‘At The Fairway’ showed the band at their best, with a two minute ground breaking punk art track that sounds uncannily like a really drunk person tuning a rubbish guitar..........Strangely, the Fairway was to be the scene of the chaotic break up of the band. With the rhythm section walking off in disgust, the rest of the band failed to notice until the following Wednesday..........A new line up followed in the coming months, but the absence of a mug to drive them about spelt the end of the group once and for all..........All of the band went on to bigger and better things. Eddie Welsh retired to the Royal Bar, where he was recruited by the Scottish Commonwealth Games team and went on to win a silver medal for talking mince in Calgary. Mikey Wynne plays in several local bands with a penchant for twiddle- dee-dee and moaning. Bill Carlyle played drums with Edinburgh’s Templehoof and Bathgate miserablists TheMe wearing a head band like the baldy guy in Dire Straits. He has since hung his head in eternal shame. John Innes played with a few bands in the big city after sulking for a bit, and now drives everyone to gigs because he gets company petrol...................................................... ............................................................ .......... STOP PRESS!!! - THEY SAID IT WOULD NEVER HAPPEN - BUT THE PEOPLE OF WEST LOTHIAN DEMANDED IT, FAMILY, FRIENDS AND ROYALTY DEMANDED IT, EVEN THE GHOST OF JIMMY SHAND TURNED UP AND THREATENED US - SO HERE IT IS!! THE PROOF!! VIDEO FOOTAGE OF THE FRAUDS COMEBACK GIG AT THE GLENMAVIS TAVERN, BATHGATE ON 30TH DECEMBER 2007 !!! ARE WE BACK TO STAY? WATCH THIS SPACE - AND BE AFRAID... BE VERY AFRAID...............................................