Son of God/Prophet--and STILL King of the Jews! BEHOLD! To paraphrase an Italian plumber/video game icon, It's a meeeeee--JESUS!
I have come back you see! For what reason you might ask--for surely I couldn't have come back just to live in this craphole town or in this country with an unelected president, could I?!?!!
(Jesus knows the SHOCKING TRUTH--when all the votes were counted, both in 2000 and 2004, it was determined with MUCH accuracy that, in fact, RALPH NADER was the winner! YES! It's true! Jesus doesn't lie and make shit up like mythical demons and angels and virgin births n shit!)
NEVER!
(For you non-believers, you'll just have to take my word on FAITH that Nader is your real President!)
SO!
I hath returned to speak my infinite truth and wisdom--and what better forum to do so than the Internet?!! Jesus likes to hear from his fan base, including those who suggest that I, Jesus H. Christ, am somehow "sac religious" (what god damn nonsense!). Jesus invites all TRUE believers to send messages of appreciation and friend requests (Jesus adds all, even the queer guys with straight eyes and the fake chicks with enormous dicks!). Jesus will answers all your questions, and is happy to explain the "H" to the unaware.
Until then!
Praise be to me, JESUS!
AMEN!
(Can I get a hallelujah?!)
CHRIST HAVE MERCY!
