I don't go out much, but once I ventured as far as Barcelona in Spain. It was the best few days of my life! The weather was gorgeous, not that I sat out in it as I am fully aware of the dangers of UV rays. I also drank myself into a stupor on cheap Spanish mineral water. I spent days walking around a fantastic cathedral and avoiding filthy leering Spanish men.
I believe myself to be interlectuly superior to around 99.9 recurring percent of the population because of my fascination with all things book related. I can simply sit and read for hours while the world passes me by. Once when reading on a park bench it became apparent that a complete stranger was ogling at my bosom, and quite literally i threw the book at him. It later turned out that he was a member of the Leigh Operatic and Drama Society or Lods for Sods to you and me. I took pity and joined the society to help the young man learn that all women should be respected and ever since the police have had me in their records as a left wing liberal lesbian. I have no grounds in which to argue that statement.
Occasionally on a Saturday night, when mothers too busy to play charades, I venture down to the local discotheque to spot talent. So far my search has been in vain as so few people can do the Waltz correctly. Ive even seen people kissing, WITH TONGUES! Do they not know tongue kissing is the 11th most likely reason for pregnancy in teenage females? I dont think I could ever bring myself to kiss a boy, lest my vow of chastity to the lord be broken.
I drive a little black Punto known as Shandy. I call her/him that with fondness for, although she has been known to fail me sometimes, she is an excellent form of transportation on those occasions when I visit the discotheque. I am always on guard in such places for I am regularly subject to drunkards walking past and grabbing certain parts of my anatomy against my wishes. Nevertheless I suppose that is a compromise made with alcohol - a vile chemical which I refuse to touch with a bargepole despite being of legal age. I would much rather drive down to the seafront (always 5 miles under the speed limit might I add - you can never be too safe) and observe the beauties of nature such as the seagulls. And seaweed. Yes I am a true naturist and would choose bird spotting over ‘bumping and grinding’ in Mayhem Nightclub any day of the week. On that note I shall leave you, please enjoy my display and if you're interested in discussing literature, amateur dramatics or even my opinion on the evils of flirtation please don't hesitate to contact me! Ciao xxxx