Evil TV is brought to you by. Uncle Silos Chicken-Bone Butter Sauce-- Its Finger Lickin Good. And by SAND. Why own one giant piece of the Earth when you could own millions of tiny pieces.Tired of sitting around watching conventional TELEVISION? Bedsores got you down? Well, Turn off the Television, Turn up the volume and say goodbye to those couch potato blues. with all new, 100% dolphin-free Evil TV. This band is made of completely water-resistant, flame retardant, no-scratch, hands-free, musicians. Evil TV formed in October 2005, so they are fresh every spoonful. No longer will you be a slave to post-midnight channel surfing. Evil TV can get you on your feet and shakin your ass in no time at all.Every Evil TV experience comes with these five no assembly required, user friendly components: Jacob Gindi (Guitar/Vocals); Anthony Leombruno (Bass/Vocals); Dave Skramko (Drums); Jake Bucher(Guitar)For all your experimental rock jazz desires with smooth earthy tones like a pair of soft hard-look corduroys, Jacob The Heab Gindi will provide the tension and release and roast 5-6 whole turkeys at a time. Tony T Leombruno* is your diamond plate housefly who brings the Molotov Mmch-Mmch-Mmch-. No one is microwave safe. For lead guitar we tried to get Joe Satriani, Stevie Ray Vaughan, Jason Becker or Eddie Van Halen, but they were all busy, so they all had sex together and made our newest guy, Jake Bucher. And what Evil TV set is complete without your very own Boom Drop Double Bass Beat Drum Binger Banger Dave The Ham Skramko whos cuddly enough to kiss your sister but strong enough to cut through grease, grime, and dried mustard. Also comes with Kung-Fu wrist action.And just when you thought it couldnt get any better, for a nominal charge be the first on your block to have your very own Jam/Funk/Rock Band that is eager to play for you. Evil TV is ready and willing to please you. Evil TVs net worth is way over one million dollars, but they are willing to play for way less and we will say screw commercials and fuck daytime drama plug in with Evil TV Now!!But Wait! If you call within the next 10 minutes the band will come equipped with their own instruments and original songs which include, Kick you in the Dick, Dont Worry About Me, Very Interstitial, and all your favorite covers; and more.Dont be fooled by cheap imitations or television bands that lie and steal moments from your life away your Evil TV is guaranteed great tunes.*Tony Leombruno comes with a certificate of authenticity. And YES he has played with Bigfoot
(No C.O.D.s)
(Not FDA Approved)*SPECIAL THANKS TO DANIEL R. NIERENBERG FOR WRITING THIS BIO!*
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